C H E R R Y tastic.

2009-01-07T22:52:00.001+08:00

tes test afasuhd9asuijdoasjdoiasjdoiasd

jealousyouare.blogspot.com

2008-03-06T23:43:00.003+08:00

hello Denver Goh, my fellow dramatist junior from GESS.

seems like you never learn your lesson don't you? i don't wish to start a cat fight if that's what you want, because

#1 if you take my paris hilton statement seriously. then boy are you deluded in this world, because number 1, it was a joke. number 2, it was a comical statement and number 3, it was in jest.

#2 you know me and you blatantly bitch about me? what have i done to you? maybe i'm suffering the burdens of God because He made you ugly.

#3 the internet is a world wide domain. i hope you stop this childishness. if you think that i'm being so click-ish and all that, sorry that my life is indeed far more exciting than yours. you can try to be like me, i don't mind. or try to be better than me, go ahead. i'm secure that i've got who i have as friends. they've got privileges and they treat me to these, i'm indeed grateful for their invitations.

besides, it's an obsession isn't it? it's 2008 already and you're bitching about sept 07, like hello, if you're a runway enthusiast or fashionista or gabragabra, then you should know to be the "new black" or the most IN thing at the moment.

:) thanks for viewing! try to stay pretty. say hi to Elina, Asal and the rest. I don't bitch about 'em because they dont' bitch about me first and point blank, i find their personalities pleasant and sociable.

regards,
your GESS Drama Senior.

and i bid.. goodbye.

2008-01-01T14:29:00.000+08:00

Resolutions and recap soon. clearing up so much shit in my room!

something to end off cherrybonanza.

2007-12-31T18:24:00.000+08:00

2007's top 5s according to ITCZY

Songs
1) Rihanna - Don't Stop the Music
2) BoysLikeGirls - Hero/Heroine
3) Jennifer Lopez - Hold it don't drop it
4) Mutya Buena - Real Girl
5) Kat Deluna Feat. Elephant Man - Whine Up

Movies
1) Simpsons: The Movie
2) The Host (korean)
3) 200 Pounds Beauty (korean)
4) Stardust
5) X Men : The Final Stand

Places of Interest
1) Dempsey Road
2) Arab St
3) City Hall
4) Play / MOX
5) Vivocity

Moments
1) MAY winning the Ripcurl Beach Volleyball Tournament with kenneth, anna and ryan
2) JUNE / SEPTEMBER Enlisting and POP-ing into and out of Tekong
3) FEBRUARY Falling asleep on the beach @ Krabi, such bliss.
4) DECEMBER Doorbitching for MOX's 6inch to Flats party (as a gothic lesbian dyke)
5) NOVEMBER Halloween 2007 - my first dress up as a boyscout :P

wtf?!

2007-12-30T19:55:00.000+08:00

apparently my sources tell me that some sad little 16 year old twit called LonelyB0i or something to that extent has been using my friendster profile on MIRC.

but apparently he wasn't that good at covering up his tracks.

so please folks, spread the love by informing those who asked whether i go to Mirc that no, i do not log onto MIRC.

and that little boy should really seek counselling or something, coz TAlkIng in AlTerNATe CAPZx ISh SeWWw KnoOTT KewLZX~*.

i am peeved. (but somehow.. flattered :P )

goodbye?

2007-12-23T18:37:00.000+08:00

i have this incredible urge to delete this blog.

but for the memories. i'll keep it.

i guess that's me, refusing to let go, coz of all the memories i have.

Post-literary-gorge

2007-12-18T16:11:00.000+08:00

so i've officially finished Johann S Lee's book "toknowhereimcomingfrom" within 5 days shows how much i enjoyed viewing his life from a 3rd party perspective. it really touched my heart at some chapters and i was so able to mirror myself in some caustic situations and predicaments he was in.

i've lost my will in cherrybonanza, all i can say is that i'm thankful 2007 is nearing over, which means, i get to move onto a new blog and site medium! just like 2006 made me "abandon" itczitczy.blogspot ..

somehow, i just can't stop thinking about the unhappiness that's within me. the feeling of disappointment or being played out just keeps on replaying in my mind.

i've just finished my gym regime and i'm happy t say that lines are showing. where it is i shan't say, i shall let my results prove it (in a few weeks i hope!)

an extract from a veryyyyyy goood book!

2007-12-13T14:46:00.000+08:00

I suppose the only good thing about heartbreak is that it reinforces your
sense of humanity

'Heart' - because the pain is felt primarily in your chest, though perhaps
not quite left of centre. 'Break' - because the feeling is one of damage,
devastation even; one of something inside you fracturing or worse, shattering
into a million irretrievable pieces. It can also feel like something within you
collapsing, imploding, leaving traces of nothing behind. Heartbreak can make you
feel heavy, or it can make you feel strangely weightless, because there is a
sensation that you have been drained of absolutely everything. Then there
are the tears, shed singly or in streams quietly or in heaving sobs, and
the fear, no matter how irrational that the feeling may never go away

When i was an adolescent, i subscribed to every known romantic notion.
Filled with as much optimism as yearning, i never doubted for a moment that
eventually i would find true love. It was simply a question of when. I wasn't
necessarily expecting a straightforward fairytale. Like many Asian gay men, of
my generation at least, I had been conditioned from a young age to expect
melodrama in my life, to go so far as to invite it. there would be trials and
tribulations, but there would also be exultation and ecstasy, and eventually, i
would find Mr Right and have my happy ending

"
- extracted from " To Know Where I'm Coming" from by Johann S Lee

just got the book from Boss Ben, and can i say upon reading the first few paragraphs of the first chapter, i am indeed taken away by how lyrical is sounds as you mentally mouth it in your mind. the simplicity of the words sing deep into your soul as though a mirror has been reflected upon you.

silence please as i happily binge on this literary feast bestowed upon me :)

of Family Dinners & expanding waistlines

2007-12-10T19:39:00.000+08:00

okie the pork ribs look sparse coz we were all gorging on its lip smacking succelent flavour, until an impulsive moment to snap all the food.

here we go (to the gym) again..

something in SICC.

2007-12-09T15:50:00.001+08:00

proof that studying abroad makes you fat.

during bowling yesterday with the cousins and bro @ SICC.

Sean: gimme a strike so that i can prove that i am worth something
Me: yeah, a lot of pounds.

sunday morning.. after

2007-12-09T15:17:00.000+08:00

sometimes people have that aura that people flock to when they have trouble and all that.

but when it comes to them having their own problems, it's hard to find someone who truly understands them..

or is it a vicious cycle?

i'm just sick of counselling people when i'm the one going through the same shit but having to hear what i'm going through in others.

bah. sunday cranks. it's been raining the whole day, i'm so gonna go down to Borders to get the Johann S Lee book, Ben lent me last nite, but i left it by the counter. tsk.

TGIF no alcohol!

2007-12-08T12:25:00.000+08:00

okay, so it's another weekend full of cousin lovin' and sibling lovin'. back to the country club for more suntanning, bowling, swimming, gorging.

i can literally feel my face getting fatter.

and the fact that i was having a bad bout with headaches and dizziness did NOT help. gosh, it was so bad till i took a day off at the bar working. thank god B's understanding.

so i woke up feeling not thirsty or drowsy for once. can i safely say this is the first weekend morning waking up to a non-hangover feeling and a more refreshed attitude at 0930hrs in the morning? :D

i should get accustomed to this ...

...
... not.

Enrique Iglesias - Somebody's me.

REUNION @ THE AIRPORT!

2007-12-06T01:20:00.000+08:00

Alaric's home baked sensations. BANANA CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE. it is seriously orgasmic, much better than sex.. well okay, almost! but it's cream cheese topping with chunks of chocolate grains and banana flavours that burst inside your mouth after every chomp. gosh, if he sells this..

Daddy's gifts for the boys! this t-shirt with different colours! i got lime green. w00ts! loves our daddy alot.

sampling Alaric's maiden attempt at BC Cupcakes, which was VERY well received :)

our family photo, before Mabel, Daryl, Alaric & Daddy flies off.. leaving me yin and kong! ): haha. nvm, i look at the itenary we have for December 2007 and i'm awaiting with GRRRRREAT excitement!

loves you all! i got a new t-shirt from Daddy

and a new cap. thanks you :)

it's countdown!

2007-12-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

20 days to christmas.

i took some time out in the evening to walk around myself, and as always whenever i'm feeling pressured/ depressed/ overthinking or just basically not being the happy sunshine i am.

i went for a haircut.

something so liberal about either trimming your follicles, or swiping your debit card, getting new clothes. it's as if something is removed, something is renewed or something is introduced.

afterwhich, i started hunting down my x'mas presents for the various people i'm targeting for, and can i say, shopping for women is disgustingly hard. it's so nerve wrecking. yes girls, i'm looking at you all. all. of. you. what's last season? what's in? what's out? what's her fav colour? what's suitable? does this make her thighs look chunky-er?!

while guys? i leave it later on, we're much easier. coz we're rather pragmatic creatures. well most of us are :P

afterward, the menage e trois finally met up for our usual tuesday meal after a hiatus from complications. and boy did we make a riot in cafe cartel @ Raffles City. it seems like forever since we had verbal banter, laughed at asses off with jokes galore. thanks dudes, Golden Compass next ( hopefully ) !

and i'm having my off tomorrow! well, afternoon off that is. so it's straits kitchen lunch with The Matriach and the Brother, followed by meeting up with Alvin Kor for the Zoukout tickets, then Gymming, then meeting up with my CCWA Loves (daddy's back!) for a good meal and lotsa ketching up to do.

oh, fahmi's got his mini cooper so we'll be driving around town on saturday! :D time for some lethal shopping without the excess baggage. won-da-foo!

my cozy family and extended family weekend.

2007-12-03T00:12:00.000+08:00

Saturday 1st dec 2007

Singapore Island Country Club

Cousin Nicole

1300-1730

she spells sexy cute.
awesome view, i've not seen this in many years, thanks to my hectic social schedule. (HAHA)

the view behind me, overlooks Bt Timah Tree top walk or something.

TOWN while waiting for mah signal mates.

nice enough of her to acc me.

SIGNAL BUDDIES
TAKA > HEEREN
1930-2200hrs

xian hong our resident platoon rabbit!

my signals buddaye chris kwok and fugchew chen wee!

THE CLUB!
WORLD AIDS DAY!
SCHOOL UNIFORM THEME!
0030hrs - LATE

world aids day at the club! my secondary school senior Nigel! nyeh, neh wear our sch uni.

my close pal Dommie in his designer school uni *cough cough*

SUNDAY 2nd DEC 2007
Singapore Recreational Club - Bowling Alley
Cousins Reunion!
1730-2130hrs

my crazy bitch of a cousin is back!

my brother too! hugss!!

haha. many ppl don't know this, but i was training to be a professional bowler at one point in my life. i tihnk it was during my p5-sec 2 days, i was training nearly everyday at SICC (my own club) that i was literally equipped like a pro. i went for STBC ten pin leagues and as well as my club's own junior leagues that i even made a proposal to my sec sch to start a bowling club as well . so here's a picture of me and my Ebonite 12.75kg bowling ball. yeah, it's lighter coz i'm a Right-Handed Spinner.

me and shellgirl cousin Michelle.
guess who topped the scoreboards. :) *big smirk*

saturday mornings without a pokemon means ..

2007-12-01T10:02:00.000+08:00

i'm seemingly wordless and thoughtless at the moment.

my life's rightfully deemed a facade.

people with many faces and spaces, doing that whole PR thing. it's tiring isn't it?

\\

my paddle's pretty much laying dormant at one corner of my room. gym can only do THAT much to appease my addiktion/cravings for high adrenaline team sports. i miss my good ol tan (albeit with the chui tanlines). i miss random ramblings on the boat with the rest of the team mates. or the bright glare of the sun and the butt abrasions. remember the triangle route? gosh, or rowing all the way to the merlion and getting bukkake-d by it's watery regurgitation? acting like Sports Illustrated models by flicking our hair to each other to get off the water? good times.

\\

met up with godpa (finally!) and his friends yesterday, had very elegant white wine at his house before heading down to the bar and club. sorry to say that at the club and bar, i was officially bored. aside from people shoving drinks down my throat, i can say that the only redeeming factor is that godpa is happy. and to me, that means alot. be it sacrificing time of sleep (after a whole niter cramming in the camp office mind you), or sacrificing friends or money.

\\

my brother's coming back from Australia tonight, imagine, 4 people sharing one toilet that's almost the size of a kid's closet. wonderful.

\\

i wish the sun would perpetually be shining brightly, this gloomy weather that has the potential to turn into a possum pounder on this saturday afternoon would badly affect the itenary planned with my cousin Nicole to swim and tan @ the country club. "the glamorous, the glamorous.. oooo the flowers the flowers"

i don't mind the extravagant lifestyle, but my heart keeps things simple. i tried living a complicated life, doesn't work for me. to love be love, cherishing your loved ones. yada yada, you know the simple-lifestyle tagline. act on it!

\\

world AIDs day! be safe guys. have fun within safe boundaries gives you more time to have fun, twofold, threefold, tenfold perhaps?

\\

other incoherent thoughts should best be left floating around, awaiting to be dissipated. goodbye blog for now, let me enjoy the weekend.

selah again!

2007-11-29T15:28:00.000+08:00

in the comforts of my office, waiting for a high rank to come and vet the corporate video i'm doing for him, i have hence denegerated into a lifeless sloth in front of the I-Net.

as well as gorging myself so much these past 2 days that even the legendary foodie Bryan W would blush.

i apologise to myself for the past few weeks, i've let myself and my sanity be overtaken by thoughts that materalised out of even smaller thoughts. its' a chain reaction really. i'm finally back on track with a much more stable mentality.

whatever's meant to be shall past. whatever isnt' shall go.

midnight jogging. needed.

2007-11-27T23:34:00.000+08:00

i so need to run.

my thoughts are getting clogged again, and i'm not thinking straight.

if given the ability to reverse time, i'd just be friends. it's getting to become a guessing game and hangman all at the same time.

something revelational at SGH

2007-11-26T21:44:00.000+08:00

my department had the half day off to go see our dept i/c James @ SGH after his sinus operation.

when we entered, we saw his girlfriend, taking time off her teaching job just to accompany him, heard she was there for over 12 hours already.

after the operation, there would be bleeding coming out from the eye, the mouth and the nose. so you could imagine the mess it was.

however, the thing that touched me most was, the girl was so mentally strong, she just helped james wipe off the blood from his cotton-patched nose without any flinching, or any look of disgust, she helped swipe the blood-stained eye of his with a smile, and took the spitoon bowl when he needed to spit out the phelgm/blood and other salivary substances (that happened very often)

i looked at them and smiled in admiration. james is a lucky ass, for a girlfriend who cared so much to take time off her career. and to be able to joke freely, like she's his best friend.

no wonder The Matriach found it hard when my dad passed away, indeed marriage, or heck, relationships are when you find your bestfriend and you compliment each other and take time for each other.

i think that was real sweet and life taught me a damn good lesson about relationships today.

something for a 3some.

2007-11-26T17:14:00.001+08:00

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1) have a long lasting healthy relationship
2) get my own property
3) afford my own funeral

Three Names You Go By:
1) Isaac
2) Zhi / Zhiyang
3) "oei bitch!"

Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1) 志
2) itczy
3) Isaac

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1) Skin - quite smooth on the face, some girls would kill for this. :)
2) big hands - oh yes. *wink wink*
3) ears - proportionate, goldilock-ish. not too big nor small.

Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1) Chinese
2) Thai
3) -

Three Things That Scare You:
1) Rejection
2) Death
3) Rejection

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1) wallet
2) Hp
3) my facebook account. (ha)

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1) instantkarma tank top "DOOR BITCH"
2) my beloved but soon-to-be-chui GANT pants
3) sexy BUM undies (oo lala)

Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1) Natasha Beddingfield
2) Rihanna
3) Goo Goo Dolls

Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1) Natasha Beddingfield - Soulmate
2) Rihanna - Don't stop the music
3) Carrie Underwood - Some Hearts

Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1) a best friend
2) loyalty (don't you dare go fuckin' around)
3) communication / transparency

Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1) built - i ain't want no michelin man or 2d-figure.
2) Looks - whoever said looks does not matter is lying (i agree with my twin deeps)
3) jawlines. something about 'em.

Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1) dancing
2) dragonboating
3) volleyball

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1) not think about someone
2) kiss someone
3) forget someone.

Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1) Church Worker (quick laugh it out!)
2) Teacher
3) Piano Performer

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1) Australia
2) Taiwan
3) Krabi

Three Kid's Names You Like:
1) Jade
2) Brandon
3) Keagan

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:
1) I whine
2) I have bitch fits and mood swings
3) I love shopping. period.

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1) I am lazy. lazy lazy lazy.
2) I do not know when is my limit in pursuing the one i love.
3) I pick my nose.

Three People You Tag:
1) Twin Gorgeous
2) Dominic
3) Mabel

ja ja jaded.

2007-11-25T23:56:00.000+08:00

lazing around the house for the whole Sunday gives me lotsa time to organise my room, clean the house, do something productive, make a difference to society and cultivate world peace step by step.

not.

i woke up to a messy room and upon clearing one box of stuff, i proceeded to surf facebook.com, and afterward traipsing downstairs to the living room to watch cartoon network and nickelodeon in between bouts of power naps and surviving on grape yakult and a pau for a total of 8 hours till dinner.

my mind's not in the mood. i really think that i'm gonna be happy being single and STAY single. i don't wanna wear my heart on my sleeve anymore (as much as i insist it's not gonna happen, some perfectly fine potential comes in and stirs everything up, life's a bitch ain't it)

and the fact that it's so complicated makes it worse. aiya. i wish i didn't think so much (as much as many of you all disgree!)

let's look foward to something.

*hesitates*

christmas!

heres to good fuzzy feelings, presents galore, food food foodies, nice lightups, bargains and sales and partying with your friends.

not.

heres to bills bills bills, expanding waistlines, crowded mobs of disgusting smelly people, overpriced inflated items, partying with your unconscious drunken friends.

-
i swear i'm becoming jaded on not just the aspect of love, but for life and in general. gah. random rants. stupid work tomorrow.

just call me angsty_b0i87rawkzx@hotmail.com lol

what happened to my social life?

2007-11-25T16:59:00.000+08:00

if they say that the house maketh a man, then i am very messy and in renovations. what happened to my social life? man. i miss these people. some i see often, but nv had heart t heart chats.

twins shouldn't be seperable. x'mas shopping soon!

i don't know what happened, i don't know what's with your problems. hope to hear from you soon.

our next foodie committee meal, must be before x'mas guys! or before yuwen flies off again!

get out of camp lar bitch. :P

truly sensational. more gelare times pal. (:

always a place in my heart. it's the mugging period for all you uni-woonies, and a travelling time for atas-swinging-singles to go abroad hor. tsk! brekos with me next time lar! i promise i won't work on that day if you all ask earlier. LOVES!

Bee-zy B. sooon!

thursday blessing.

2007-11-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

so an old friend, Joseph and i hung out this evening.

starting out by making 2 circles around Kim Seng area hesitating on Zion road Food centre

afterwhich, settling at Cold rock @ Holland V for some chunky unconventionally mixed icecream and confectionary/chocolates.

to Mt Faber, to relive my childhood days of non-commercial hills (alas) and circling around it twice, to take a better glimpse of the blue-neon christmas tree (and couples making out and getting it on in the jiggling stationary vehicles and misty condensed windshield)

and finally to Labrador Park, facing the jetty, overlooking the vast panoramic view of the waters beyond.

what a fruitful thursday. aside from Acolades and Anecdotes exchanged, i learnt one thing from him and his ex: persevere, and take it easy. i didn't realise how long they went out before they got together, a friggin 7 months. can you believe that?

and for myside, i'm taking things slow still.. just as godpa adviced. (:

alots on my mind (what's new?) i'm just waiting for your side to initiate.

something productive

2007-11-22T19:48:00.000+08:00

something i've learnt in camp today, thanks to my upperstudy. the wonders of imageready (too lazy to get macromedia flash)

boy do i love pandan cake.

bottled.

2007-11-22T12:07:00.000+08:00

i don't know whether i can take it.

and where did my time go towards?

random photos.

2007-11-20T23:13:00.000+08:00

Halloween 2007 - cheryl and me. naughtaye boy scout and kinky nurse. hawtt.

overdue! this was like.. during my block leave after BMT. mid sept?

see the similarity?
chomp. i love my hot fuck, i mean hot fudge sundae. :)

angelina jolie has NOTHING on us :)

Carrie Underwood - Don't forget to remember me.

2007-11-20T19:01:00.000+08:00

Carrie Underwood - "Don't Forget To Remember Me"

18 years have come and gone
For momma they flew by
But for me they drug on and on
We were loading up that Chevy
Both tryin' not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said
'Baby don't forget

Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in the ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever lose your way

Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me'

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
Keep telling me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's alright
Before we hung up I said
'Hey momma, don't forget to tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall
And tell mee-ma that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me'

Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
'Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place
Yeah, I know there are more important things,
But don't forget to remember me
But don't forget to remember me'

let's take things real..

2007-11-19T13:39:00.000+08:00

i'm happy this way. :)

if you're guilty of ANY of BOTH of these faux pas.

2007-11-18T22:22:00.000+08:00

Social Networking Faux Pas

Instant Messenging (MSN) Faux Pas

any more than 5 from each, you're probably someone very chui. CHANGE NOW! haha

guess who was at the club?

2007-11-18T22:05:00.000+08:00

Natasha sundays.

2007-11-18T14:04:00.001+08:00

listening to MTV Live: Natasha Beddingfield @ Madrid. her voice is absolutely enchanting. it's like Joss Stone meets Lauryn Hill. that melodic, that enthralling. "Unwritten" came on at its finale and i just bopped to the beat on my L shaped sofa, resting upon dozens of odd shaped pillows (including Mabel's "husband" garfield & the Pfizer Pillow) and relaxed.

it's nice to have someone to hold through these feel good moments, but also nice to spend it alone. reflecting how good life is.

it's my declaration of independence.

LEO!

2007-11-18T11:43:00.000+08:00

very true. what a feel good moment (:

*****

there's nothing going on really. but i enjoyed that meal at the train station.

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

saturday morning after.

2007-11-17T11:10:00.000+08:00

minor hangover. (what's new?)

sometimes. good things come for boys who wait. and last night was a sneak preview.

some pictures from my loves!

2007-11-16T02:08:00.000+08:00

before heading off to Zouk! can i say how formal we ALL look? :)

the toast that revolutionised the way we work as a group, and as a family. boy i wish i could jot down every single toast message we all said out. it really was a heartwarming thing. :) i can't wait for December, we have stuff lined up as well. w00ts!

and i'm finally gonna sleep. and did i mention that the rewiring's almost done? i slept on the couch downstairs but tonight, i'm in the luxurious comfort of my bed and room with fully equipped aircon, electricity anddddd INTERNET! :D

TGIF!

Emo @ 0200. TGIF!

2007-11-16T02:03:00.000+08:00

i see many of my friends falling in love all over again. i think that's great really.

in this world, being alone is okay, feeling lonely isn't.

some of us take a longer time to find their true love, some are in the midst of finding theirs and some have already pretty much decided that they've found it.

and as a friend i definitely revel in the joy you guys have found in your other half. your soul mates. your completion of your heart.

those who haven't, like me, don't fret, sometimes, all it starts as friends, and whatever happens. happens and it happens for a reason. don't question yourself for things beyond your control, and don't blame yourself for things that have happened.

if we were all Gods, it's war of the worlds down here, throw some lightning bolts man.

and PS: MSN nicknames don't speak out much especially in anger, it's just all about seeking attention, or worse, seek self-pity in a morbid way.

afterall, it's MSN. not My Social Network. oh wait, does it mean that? ha.

recent photos.

2007-11-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

@ Scarlet Hotel with ...

the birthday boy Terence! happy birthday dude :)

selah

2007-11-14T14:38:00.000+08:00

my silly gullible, influential pushover heart. i don't wanna fall into pits again and again and again. ngggh.

inherent absence. apologies!

2007-11-14T08:53:00.000+08:00

"speak out if you do, you're not easy to find" - Natasha Beddingfield

***

sorry for the inherent lack of updates, my house an utter mess and a complete clutter catastrophe (hellooo alliteration!) thanks to the major rewiring and renovation of the upper storey bathrooms. and to think that all this madness will only stop before x'mas.

on a good note, less than 6 weeks till christmas! as my twin would say, can you feel it yet?

now, my mind's all in a jumble, so whatever i can regurgitate i will. try to keep up.

***

walking back from city hall to orchard with Dominic is TIRING. and to think we attempted this walk-athon at 2330hrs yesterday night. it was supposed to be THE menage e trois, but apparently someone was caught up, no names mentioned here *Whistles* ha. loves still k.

***

been running 3 times a week now, and i can feel my back muscles being strengthened. with an average of 35mins each mon, wed, fri. running around tiongbahru, novena, tanglin respectively. i've no idea the distance i cover, but considering i'm running just a wee bit slower than my IPPT test speed, i've a feeling i've covered a substantial amount. and i'm so working on my abs recently. time to get back some BMT glory!

***

office has been rather slack since the passing of the COC ceremony, being tasked with smaller projects that have the possibility of being added into my portfolio. watching movies as well makes time go by faster, with a record of "Because I Said So" (mandy moore, diane keaton), "My Super Ex Girlfriend" (Uma Thurman), "Blades of Glory" ( Will Ferrell ), "Good Luck Chuck" (Jessica Hotsex Alba) and soon to be watching the Nanny Diaries & Just Follow Law and many more to go.

yes mabel jie you can so start stabbing me with your paddle now. :D

***

the party night on friday with the ccwa LOVES @ Phuture was damn fun. it has been so long since we partied like no tomorrow. (well, no training on the following day sure helped)

drinking shots at my house, fooling around with my gigantic stuffed garfield. all the CHUI pictures (that'll never see the light of the day outside of our photo folders), and then making fun of taxi drivers en route to Zouk.

Phuture was good, but effing packed, thanks to the Deepavali holiday that lead on to the weekends. chanting to Rihanna's Don't stop the music. and followed by the super chui event of having supper. using the camera to take pictures of the *ahem* grand canyon (wink wink) and then proceeding to have a mini war with derrick spitting ice throw straws (very juvenile hor!) , or worse, taking pictures of orgasmic faces. LOL fuck thinking about those pictures damn funny lar. i miss that. and our special guest bryan was all there to videophone our antics.

if i see it on youtube.com ... boy i'll .. -.-

***

team gathering on sunday @ Marketplace Plaza @ Raffles City, buffet galores with the whole team, it was nice getting to know people outside of the clique better, and when you mix weiyin+mabel with cameras, you get a lot of photos. and it felt nice just to hang around them on a lazy sunday afternoon, a totally different scenario when your'e outside the kallang river.

also watched Bee Movie on Sunday! it's rather entertaining and i'm thankful steven spielberg and jerry seinfield transformed it from a bee-wearing man to an animation, boy if they didn't, i'd say it'd be a sure flop in the box office.

it's heartwarming, but didn't make me cry this time. yay i think i'm getting immune to cartoon plots.

***

i guess that pretty much sums up my activities for the past few days.

oh oh,

DJ JUNIOR VASQUEZ LIVE @ PLAY THIS SATURDAY! Early Bird Tickets are going fast, so faster get yours today! :)

he's a amazing DJ who's done remixes to popular tunes of Beyonce, Madonna & Christina in particular, but i'd expect a not-too-familiar set on saturday (as do all guest djs ala hex hector)

i'll see you guys there!

over out.

take a walk back to tiong bahru!

2007-11-08T15:20:00.000+08:00

Happy Deepavali!

waking up around noon.. having lunch in Tiong Bahru Market with The Matriach, flirting my way to a discount at Bamboo Cane Juice (haha) Stall, simple wanton mee, enriching talks, ending it off with the peanut soup (tang yuan).

i'm amazed at the facelift tiong bahru market has had, i remmeber my fond years as a child, waking up in the wee hours (well i still do) of the morning, just to follow The Matriach and Aileen the maid to the market, i'd walk through the wet market, in dainty little flip flops with an oversized discoloured power ranger tee shirt, scared at the ways the owners hawked their fares of cold poultry, reeky fish and vegetables with a myriad of colours.

Afterwhich, we'd adjourn to the cooked foods for a takeway of heart fare, that included the famous chee kway, doughsticks (you tiao), vegetarian bee hoon with its oh-so-artery-clogging gravy.

the car would smell of (oddly) durian, everyone was sweating profusely, but when you arrive at the house gate, you see the sun glowing and rising. you feel, a somewhat family peace.

and flashback to today, just driving away from the hustle and bustle of TB market at 1300 hours, the faint memories come flying back, with an additional wanton of nostalgia and peacefulness.

and now i'm currently at my uncle's house as my own is undergoing thorough renovations, which involved major rewiring, so everything's wrapped in plastic to avoid dust (riiite) and workers are a dime a dozen, working on every room a the same frigging time. i slept on the sofa, which everyone agrees is as good as a bed, only to be woken up by a drill. (no sexual connotations please)

i think, Deepavali is probably one of my more serene holidays of this year. no wild excitement, no rush of blood to the head, no climatic turns. just family oriented times.

meeting up with the signal buddies later on. can't wait!

One Art - Elizabeth Bishop

2007-11-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

---

again, this is In Her Shoes we're talking about. thanks Kimbo (long time no hear!) for the copy&paste.

i shall withhold from saying too much about my interpretation of this poem, but to put it short, sometimes, it's not just about failures instead of victory, but it's about letting go of things, of people, of property. as valuable as it is, sometimes, letting go is the best way.

and also, coz of the movie, i shall get a dress for my mum. (go read it)

In Her Shoes

2007-11-06T23:31:00.001+08:00

i'm watching In Her Shoes right now, it's about 2 sisters who are polar opposites, but somehow, similar. (i know you're going ?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!? but yeah)

and it makes me miss my brother.

and the dating scene. gosh.

and most importantly, how independent these people were without their emotional baggage. they did dog-washing jobs, running away from car-hijacking rapists, or doing old ladies' hairs @ home, lawyers, sleeping with your sister's boyfriend, trying on your sister's shoes (hence the movie title), adding milk to your haagen daaz ice cream, going for MTV auditions, finding old nostalgic wellwishing cards with money in side during your childhood days, walking around in a skiimpy bikini and denim hotskirts with abs to show (damn you cameron)

can i say how underappreciative i've been to my channel 58 and 60? time to be a bit more seclusive and be a literal couch potato.

you

2007-11-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

you can't stop people from talking.

but you can stop telling people things.

friends.

2007-11-06T00:23:00.000+08:00

i think i finally realized the importance.

AHOY!

2007-11-05T13:14:00.000+08:00

hello there cherrybonanza, how have you been?

i've been becoming less reliant on this blog for my emotional, political and at odd times trivial outpours :)

at least Christmas is coming! :) hope you guys are feeling the festive mood.

something for you viewers to chew on.

2007-10-30T01:58:00.000+08:00

ignorance can be enlightened,

a drunk made sober,

the sad made happy,

the arrogant humbled,

the insecure made firm,

but stupid lasts forever.

Sugababes - Easy

2007-10-25T13:22:00.000+08:00

Sugababes - Easy.

a fusion of victorian goth meets retro funk. with cheesy lyrics about "sex on the beach, not on the rocks".

typical all girl group video, with the fiasco of hair blowing in the wind, robotic dance moves to end off the choreograph, black leather of 007 girls gone bad.

sad that (my favourite asian mix girl) Mutya has left the group, the new girl (whatever her name is) looks like a Stacie Orico gone Satanic. tsk.

to address an issue

2007-10-20T17:55:00.000+08:00

floods, repeats, discrimination, assumptions and reading too much into the most minimal words.

i don't condone such behaviour.

if people think i'm breaking down inside, or that i'm as weak as i was years ago, go ahead.

i don't need to impress, improve or indent someone else.

if people think that they're here to flood my tagboard so that they can be like a little baby in a cradle screaming for utmost attention go ahead. i'm not the one being fed by the bottle.

wild dogs don't chase parked cars. i'm sorry if i've got a brighter future than you, that i'm doing something to make a point, that i'm helping others unconditionally.i have my fair share of fun and at times i hurt others and myself, but who doesn't? sure i've got my faults, but at the end of the day, who gets the benefit of this senseless tagging?

if it's his/her satisfaction, then i must say that is indeed very very sad.

TGIFFFFF

2007-10-19T15:21:00.000+08:00

the long anticipated weekend is finally here! aside from the trepidation or rather, boredom of guard duty looming over me this sunday, i guess there's always a positive side, and that's halloween next week!

and that well, i guess i found out some stuff about the ex, and how _________ the ex was and how the ex's ex is even more ______. tsk.

well, karma karma karmmmmmma.

okay, slowly letting go of the bitter betty-ness in me. no love lost!

and my ~~poles~~ PILLARS of my life, my loves, i'll be seeing them tomorrow for training, how great can life start to be? almost endless and abundant as long as your mindset is renewed.

well, aside from being holed up in this computer lab doing some tests, i'm almost shaking in the knees on how i can think of things to do within my service time here. like SATs? a private degree maybe? or even A levels!

or learning driving, or learning to lick my elbow.. oh you know the gist.

time to start brainstorming on my own blog or maybe a shared one with mandylicious.

maybe a change.

2007-10-19T15:00:00.000+08:00

apparently my obsessive (but very affable) fans on my tagboard do not realise the patterns in my blogs since i've started blogging, i shall not state the utmost obvious lest i reveal a bigger level of moronity they have hence achieved.

and yes, maybe it's time i "move house" with my dear mandylicious. coz

#1- glam people should shack it up together

#2- it's easier to keep in touch that way since we're both so busy

#3- her hot friends can bio me. HAHA.

well 2/3 of the above is true. think about it =p

a thursday night

2007-10-18T19:07:00.001+08:00

i'm so itching to change this blog soon. it's 2 more months to january, and as always i always relocate every year, and it isn't THAT hard to find me really.

now really bored at the computer lab, after a whole day of tests and antennae exercises.

i looked through some familiar blogs and i just wanan blog so much, it's up to my brim in the neck, but judging from my current demography and geography. i have to suffocate myself.

lamenting about stayins.

2007-10-17T11:13:00.000+08:00

i hate the army (for the X1298417928948) time.

i feel very out of touch.

and the only thing i can blog about is the Salvatore Ferragamo EDT that i sneaked in.

or that the vending machine stocks up on Bread Pan (not Daryl's brand, but some garlic crisps) and Snickers and TOP bars every other day.

or that green is my colour.

or that the cook house muslim food is very creative. (satay beehoon last night? watered down please)

or that we're dying of boredom every weekday night as we don't have anything on at night

or that one of our peculiar quizzes actually have answers online. hmmm.

or that planning our weekends never seemed more detailed (with hourly slots!)

or that phone bills are on the rise thanks to excessive sms-ing during before after class.

or that B&J is so insufficient. (CHERRRY GARCIAA)

or that my clothes are gathering dust in my room without me wearing 'em.

or that you develop a close affection to your signals PT tank.

musing.

2007-10-16T11:16:00.000+08:00

it was then
it is now
it will be

i feel like i'm stepping on landmines now. with great trepidation i trudge through this week till the friday comes.

and being offered very suggestive and promiscuous and almost perverted suggestions of a THREESOME. tsk. my monday has been quite scandalous. (all thanks to dan he says)

Recapitulation!

2007-10-15T16:49:00.000+08:00

the week's started off again!

i haven't really mentioned much about my weekend yet, so to cut a long story short..

playing at the club on friday night was damn fun, drank alot (thanks to Payday!) and Dan sure enjoyed himself too.

Met uncle Alan on a saturday afternon and followed him for his megalomaniac shopping spree @ the Ipod shop @ Cinileisure, followed by facebooking with his friend Chrispian at Uncle Al's abode & American Politics.

it sure is interesting learning about US politics, the battle between the democrats and republicans... the discrimination and all. till i feel more at ease with being less occupied to degenerating my brains in camp, then i'll talk more about the Obama-Hillary-(and recently added)-Gore 3 way showdown.

Friday evening took some time spending it with dear Dominic walking around Paragon & then finaly settling down at Crown Prince for some good ol' swensens with his friend Gabs. followed by the abovementioned Club.

Saturday Night (yes, i'm incoherent, bear with me) was spent at Cream Bistro with Daryl, Cheryl & Daddy Jeremy, afterwhich, we were quickly whisked away to some Winery (i can't remember!) @ Dempsey, where we drank delicious sweet fruity champagne for a very reasonable price. gosh, i'm so gonna drag Uncle Alan & the BTB(bigtimebastards..ha) there, they sure loves some bubbly.

Sunday's bulk was spent with my loves down at Kallang River, aside from the race sets we did, we spotted someone, or something, or whatever. again, such things should be outside of the boat, not inside.

and the golden quote for the day

"aye ___, how can you eat a banana with the skin on!?"
"i couldn't find a rubbish bin!"

some photos in random directories in my laptop.

2007-10-14T18:57:00.000+08:00

the last nite. we saboh-ed Milton aka Fish.

i miss you guys a lot man. they said BMT memories are a lifetime. true

hawt sex modelzzzz

-----------

(Derrick) Kong's birthday @ Cream Bistro, and a crazy nuah night at my house a few weeks back. :)

if i had a choice, i'd make hanging out with you guys an occupation. one of you said "i am EXTREMELY protective of our group" and i couldn't agree more.

untitled title.

2007-10-14T18:03:00.000+08:00

i opened my eyes today.

monotony got me..

2007-10-14T10:49:00.001+08:00

yesterday night opened up a plethora of platforms.. of vulnerability to some, of hardening of hearts to others. it was a moment of sticking together for what it's worth. what was it worth?

it's worth for the togetherness we all love. i love you guys.

*

i always tell myself this recently. it's time to get out of clubbing excessively, it's like an addiktion i can't stop, it eats up my insides if i don't go. surely there are better things t do over the weekend night.

let's try this.

and nothing stupid happened btw.

*

focus, focus, hocus pocus. training's down. and even if i have to see (ever so reluctantly) a peculiar entity every sat sun morning, i'll grit and roll my eyes. ha.

the saturday!

2007-10-13T15:58:00.000+08:00

"aiya we're just superficial la"

here on a saturday afternoon is somewhat heartwarming, to be alone in my bedroom and just gazing around. i'm glad i finished most of my to-do stuff, like the IBP budgeting (big yay!).

gonna meet uncle Alan soon for some high tea, so whoopie, followed by dinner and drinks with ..

:) it's great to complete my saturday like this, especially after training.

speaking of which, i'm glad i started dragonboating. it's teamwork isn't it? similar to volleyball, and i get healthier.

pity i may have to stop if my condition worsens, but i'm glad CCWA gave me a chance. loves!

i don't really wanna blog much today. i'm just so tired.

PS: i'm a boy and we toy with your feelings. all boys do (: we're adulterous cheap sluts who sleep around even though we're attached.

and it's even more worse if he's boring and sleeps to get to the top. so much for being a himbo.

PSS: if you think i'm talking about myself, i'll leave you to decide. i call 'em like i see 'em

threes.

2007-10-06T18:15:00.000+08:00

god, i'm so depressed. i'm gonna party tonight.

god, i'm so relieved. i'm gonna have fun tonight.

god, i'm so tired. i'm gonna relax tonight.

Top Favourite 3 tracks at the mo.

2007-10-06T18:12:00.000+08:00

a friday.

2007-10-06T03:23:00.000+08:00

why do most hot people have issues with being loyal and faithful to their other halves? is there some sort of stigma that grows with the good-looks hormone? that they can rage out of control and resist the all-too-significant info that "oh, i have a boyfriend already" or "oh, my boo's in the washroom"

yet, a message just arrived. and i melt. i'm such a fucking softie lar cb.

**

went for a medical review today and i didn't know my problem with my back was at detrimental and bad as this. when i heard the results, i swear, my heart dropped to the soles of my feet. i recall tearing on my way back to company line. it didn't just affect my mood, it could potentially affect the rest of my life. damn .

***

and welcome back mr flooder fan (: it's great to see my fans throwing at me such remarks, coz guess what? wild dogs don't bark at parked cars.

another day in paradise.

2007-10-04T13:41:00.000+08:00

1 more day to book out day. and i guess you never thought things would end on a good note.

good riddance(?) is what i'll say.

feeling lifeless in camp is not good. so much i want to do, but time has to take its place. there's like a muzzle around my mouth in this day and age. i always felt like i belong in an era, say 10 years from now, where NS is hopefully abolished.

i seem to lack the literal touch in life, my thoughts are rather incoherent and almost dear-diary like. as i looked back (don't i always) into my archives, i see entries, entries of (non-self-obsessed) angst, passion about certain issues and moral rights. and now as i start mentally degrading myself serving the nation (oh, stop it with the thinking soldier, we're all made to chiong sua, even the clarks! look at those paper cuts), i feel that "memes" give me the satisfaction for the day.

it seems almost bastrial to just be led by emotions rather than principles and values. i consider myself nothing if i do not have the ability to express myself with fluency and zest in any medium possible.

---

in camp, there's so much time to let your mind wander that you start planning your weekend in advance. and when you have even MORE time, you plan them by the hours, and you start randomly SMSing people to book 'em. haha. or they sms-ing you to book you.

--

facebook has seemed to be gaining much popularity in the wake of the much-HTML-modified Friendster.com. It's network of universities and occupation/brands/company has made it look more official as a proper non-sleazy myspace.com like site.

however, what is with the many applications being added? it makes your profile look so cluttery and uninviting, and you have to scroll ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the way down just to see the wall posts (after going through the how hot are you? the Vampires, the garden, the start system etc..) i'd wish they'd have a limit to the number of applications. and god, the diff between the pictures and the albums is like the diff between friendster's comments and testimonials.

it's literally the same! well, if you got a different opinion, fair enough. :p

---

i'm growing fat here in camp, thanks to my status (and when is the #!@#!@$% M.O coming back) i'm just sitting in lectures and computer labs letting my mind wander. How i await weekends, especially when the competition is nearing, i hope to contribute to the team :) let's do this!!

The Night we called it A Day

2007-09-30T19:45:00.000+08:00

aside from 2 conseceutive days of rowing (i'm a righty for the comp!), my mind's been pretty much in a relaxed mode.

i just don't want to think anymore about us.

I'm gonna make you bend and break
(It sends you to me without wait)
Say a prayer but let the good times roll
In case God doesn't show
(Let the good times roll, let the good times roll)
And I want these words to make things right
But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life
"Who does he think he is?"
If that's the worst you got
Better put your fingers back to the keys

One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"

Been looking forward to the future
But my eyesight is going bad
And this crystal ball
It's always cloudy except for
When you look into the past (look into the past)
One night stand (one night stand off)

One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"

They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers
In hotel rooms collecting page six lovers
Get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes
I'm a liner away from getting you into the mood, whoa

One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter" (X2)

-Fall Out Boy - Thanks for the memories.

i'll try to move on.

revelational.

2007-09-29T15:56:00.000+08:00

the spammers, the people who criticise me, bitch about me, backstab me, and all that hoo hah..

sometimes, i don't need my own words to concur up what i feel.

"wild dogs don't bark at
parked cars" - Dick Cheney's
Wife in TIME Magazine Interview.

*
comprende? :)

13 random people

2007-09-29T03:57:00.001+08:00

Can you name 13 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Anyone you're thinking of, in no order. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 13 people. Absolutely NO cheating and switching positions on the list, either! READY, START!

1. derrick kong
2. Mandy oh-so-gorgeous Soh
3. Mabel Wong
4. Lin Weiyin
5. Daryl
6. Alaric
7. "Daddy" Jeremy Wee
8. Aviel
9. Hifzan
10. Jason (THE pti)
11. Dominic
12. TSBF Leon
13. Kimbo

THE QUESTIONS:
1. How did you meet 2?
(Mandy) oh, her? mmmm. i applied for a job during my final sem of my Poly days, apparently she was the senior b*tch in Instant Karma, and after a rough start, we're pretty tight (: my lovely karmic twin.

2. What would you do if you NEVER met 6?
(Alaric) i'd never understand the meaning of putting thought, sincerity and meaning and individuality to each gift given during a birthday. PS: he is extremely creative in his b'dae presents. gosh, if you had one, it's like a treasure already! oh oh, and i wouldn't know the word "chui" hehe.

3. What would you do if 2 and 9 dated?
(Mandy & Hifzan) HAHAHA. oh god, they'd have very tall dancers. club dancers that is (hiffy CAN bust a move on the dance floor)

4. Did you ever like 8?
(Aviel) i did. :) he's very nice.

5. Would 1 and 5 be a good couple?
(Daryl & Derrick) omg, they're dudes man, they're already buddies, so unless one of them changes their names to Patsy or Rose, then maybe not *wink*.

6. Is number 11 gay/lesbian?
(Dominic) i'm not so sure, but he's extremely uber-sexual. LOL.

7. Would you tell secrets to 5?
(Daryl) yup! he's one of the people in my circle, but pity he's always busy with school work (jiayou daryl!)

8. Do you know any of 1's family members?
(Derrick) oh yes, his mum's b'dae just passed a few weeks ago (happy birthday mrs kong!)

9. What's 10's favorite color?
i'd say PINK. LOL.

10. What would you do if 9 confessed he/she liked you?
(Hifzan) i wouldn't be surprised. everybody LOVES isaac. haha. -denial-

11. What language does 3 speak?
English, Chinese, Cantonese ( i heart! ), a unique laughter and of course, Bitch (it IS a language people!)

12. Who is 9 going out with?
(Hifzan) i think he's single. who wants an officer as their boyfriend? omgomg.

13. What grade is 12 in?
(TSBF Leon) he's studying in SMU.

14. When did you last see 7?
(Jeremy) Just a while back with Derrick, Mabel & Weiyin @ Lao Pa Sat for Supper, before that at Cini Subway having dinner.

15. What is 13's favorite band?
(Kimbo) Muse, Placebo etc..

16. Would you ever date 3?
(Mabel) no way, my big sister! how can oneeeee. tsk!

17. Is 1 hot?
(Derrick) many girls are attracted to him (yes yes derr, pls squeal, or ahem macho growl in delight! Haha)

18. Is 12 single?
(Leon) i'd assume so (update your status quo lar TSBF)

19. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 1?
(Derrick) a serious long life friendship, yes. :) my mambo partner k!

20. Where does 8 go to school?
(Aviel) NTU comms.

21. What's 4's best physical feature?
(weiyin) her impersonation of people. okay tts not a best physical feature, but i love her skin, it's very smooth!

22. Are number 7 & 8 best friends?
(aviel & Jeremy) not really, they've seen each other around but don't talk to each other.

23. Is 8 a girl or boy?
(aviel) a boy!

24. Who is 2 in love with?
(mandy) her boyfriend/ fiance / husband-to-be and a friend of mine, JD.

25. What is your last memory of 7?
cracking jokes about derrick's unique laughing method while going up the escalator in heeren (it just happened today!)

26. Have you ever hooked up with 4?
(weiyin) ew no way! haha.

27. What is the funniest memory of 8?
(Aviel) oh yes fooling around with my camera @ subway PS.

28. What is your relationship with 6?
(Alaric) Fellow Rabbits and Fellow CCWA Boaters!

29. How old is 13?
(Kimbo) she's 19 this year!

30. How close are you with 1?
(derric) we're mambo partners and people watchers! unite!

31. Would you sleep with 12?
(Leon) hahaha. NEXT QUESTION PLEASE.

32. What is your favorite memory with 3?
(Mabel) walking around raffles place with her to get CCWA beach outing stuff, shopping for kong's present, beach road hotel for weili's farewell (being the only girl there!), Daryl's 21st. wow so many memories lar. omg. i hearts mabel! :D

33.Who's 11 best friends with?
(Dominic) mmmm i'm not that sure, but me him and jason are quite cool w each other (:

34. What's your favorite thing about 2?
I can be totally open with her.

greetings from the green north

2007-09-26T17:18:00.000+08:00

hola amigos and amigas,

currently in the midst of self studying in Camp, i have hence decided to put down some thoughts (non-SAF related of course)

so far, i'm not exactly liking my camp and judging by current health condition, i don't think i should be adjusting into the culture here. afterall, nothing's confirmed till Monday.

all i wanna think about is that my health should not be detrimental just for the sake of chiong sua for 2 years, i'm thinking long term. who wants a broken back for a chocolate bar during this 2 years? i'd rather be a lowlife and have a longer healthier time in earth.

gah, but there's not much physical stuff involved. mainly theory and lectures and what have you.

gah i miss my beloved friends, i so need to get my civilian life back. sigh. 1 year 9 months to go.

i wish i didn't have to waste my time addressing this.

2007-09-24T02:39:00.000+08:00

okay, i've FINISHED packing for camp already. gosh look at the time.

say goodbye to my goatee

as i get ready for my new unit

and on a very different note. i've this to say only.

love me or hate me it's still an obsession,
love me or hate me that is the question.
if you love me then, FUCK YOU! :)
if you hate me then, FUCK YOU! :P

and if you keep on flooding, it only shows that:

1) you're obsessed with me and can't stop thinking about me non stop day night come rain come shine 24/7

2) you're obsessed with me to start calling me derogatory names so that i shall pay attention to you while you secretly swoon in your own room and prance around saying "OMG ISAAC FINALLY LOVES AND PAYS ATTENTION TO ME OMG OMGOMG *fans self frantically"

3) you've got bad english, coz euu karn speel feor nartz.

and

4) you're my stalker, aye velli baad yin engrish shhhhh-talker.

so if you keep on flooding, sorry man, you are all of the above.

and don't "oh big fuck ar big fuck ar", like hello who asked you to come here in the first place? besides, flooding is so PASSE, don't live in the 1990s.

i hope this is the last time i have to address my stalkers who are madly in love with me, and see how they act out with their expression for love for me with such bad english? it's so sad it's pitiful. i know which organization to put my tax exemptions to, english lessons for the mentally retarded.

see ya guys in a week :)

procrastinator extraordinaire.

2007-09-22T15:50:00.000+08:00

when you're late for church and you can't find your favourite (new) Zara Jeans..

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

you surf Friendster.com, Facebook.com & of course, blog.

Room Improvement! 55% done.

2007-09-22T03:29:00.000+08:00

expanded mirror length on thursday.

okok i admit, closet self-loving whore (And what a hypocritical statement considering my previous previous entry about loving others more than yourself, but hey, i'll just say i've got good esteem -narf-)

Lunch with Chrystal & Pig Out Night with the CCWA beloved!

2007-09-22T02:56:00.000+08:00

i usually meet up with my (distant) cousin Chrystal for the occasional shopping and meal and catching up (an event rarely upheld except for the annual CNY traditions). this NTU mass comm babe is STILL single, and how is that possible is beyond me.

striking a pose whilst our rendezvous starts @thai express Paragon, with a delicious array of soft shell crab curried rice, mango salad, and pad thai thalay, accompanied with the tantalizing lime watermelon crushed ice drink.

and of course thanks to Jackie's intro to Toast @ Taka, i gamely brought her to the delightful cupcake shop and of course, had the nutella cupcake, as well as the Chocolate Deluxe cupcake, which by the way, is GORGEOUSLY SINFUL. this could be a regular haunt for me from now on, so deeeeelicious.

and finally, shopping around town. :) next meetup MUST be before CNY 2008 k. loves!

*********

Canadian 2-for-1 pizza! bbq chicken bonanza, chicken cheeseburger, atlantis (seafood) & good ol'hawaiian.

lookie what we found! paddle pop rainbow. flavour revealed! the multicoloured eclectic childhood delight is actually a combination of toffee and caramel flavour. no wonder i had so much caffeine in my blood to scream like a mad monk around west coast park way back in 1994.

the family shot, which by accident was tilted to the left, but the rest said it was artistic, sooooo.... artistic it is! *beams*

kena taupok-ed. can see who "dislikes" me the most. haha. kidding. :p

i caught my turtle cheating on me.

so i flocked to my darling mabel-san (mama-san), which the rest of the boys always do. haha.

gosh, i'm so tired to blog out much, so the pictures shall do the talking (well, only the non-restricted photos)

****

SHOPPAHOLIC ALERT.

Topman Red + Blue V Neck Jersey = $29.00
Instant Karma Candy striped berms = $44.00(i think)
Zara Relaxed Fit Jeans = $129.00

Total: $202.00

i am officially broke. i need a sugar daddy. for REAL. or a mummy, whichever gender can bring in the moolah. to think i nearly wanted to buy a FCUK polo as well. thank goodness chrystal slapped me.

time for some scrimping till X'mas (yeah right)

rambling at 0245. pride and it's greed.

2007-09-22T02:39:00.000+08:00

someone explain to me why i always bend over backwards for people?

issit coz i've less pride than most people do? i don't really care about what people think of me (anymore), i aimed lower. that's when failure sets in, i don't feel so disappointed or discouraged.

issit coz i'm/was a Jesus freak? i was raised on principles that would send the Atheist spine tingling. to love others more than loving yourself, to find a need, meet a deed. Care for others like how Jesus cares for me.

issit coz i'm naturally empathic? i want the best for other people, or in real fact, the ones that i love. LOVE. not the ones that i know, but the ones that i love. clear cut line. i have compassion, i hurt when my loved ones are hurt, i cry when my loved ones cry, i celebrate when they celebrate.

issit coz i'm thoughtful? i'm trying my best to comprehend how the other party feels. well, most of the time i'm quite vigilant in discerning emotions, well except those that have an Emotional range of a teaspoon.

maybe i'm just nice. and i like being nice. there, i said it. i LIKE BEING NICE. it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling, it makes me smile to myself.

there's enough Osamas and Saddams in this world to make it so dark and corrupt, we need more care and consideration.

let me start by loving the people around me more. at least those that matter and give a damn about how i feel.

dream big, start small, act now.

the legendary EQUINOX

2007-09-21T11:21:00.000+08:00

shiny shiny lift buttons and thank god they removed the cliche elevator music. but to my demise the lousy-very-lousy elevator music was echoed throughout ..

the whole EQUINOX itself. so you could hear the instrumental versions of "careless whisper", "i just called to say i love you"etc.. wad a killer to the cuisine.

here's some nice mushroom soup (obviously has a more atas name which i forgot, some cuppacino fungi or watever)

some mud crab. with real crab flesh!

was so excited to taste foie gras for my first time (yes yes, country bumpkin, get over it) ...

can someone say i'm not into these fine culinary food? foie gras tasted like.. the roasted suckling pig's fat (we usually eat the roasted skin right?) and some bad mayonnaise mixed and squeezed into a weiner shape. tsk! (the white stuff is cream, the rectangle thing is sponge sweet cake, and droplets of marmalade all around. the sausage lookalike is the foie gras)

the main course, miso cod with edamame beans drizzled with some unique teriyaki sauce. PALATABLE and the salmon flesh is so nice, its meat is nicely shredded with a touch of a fork, still a bit firm for that touch of freshness.

and of course, dessert, orgasmically good. some chocolate truffle, mint sorbet and some menthol syrup. so nice i had to pose dumb-ass-ly.

"wahhhh, sugar cubes! brown and white some more lehhh" [i'm kidding]

and finally, near the lift lobby. breathtaking.

to that special buddy of many years!

wow. okay, what turned out sour for us turned out to be the start of a beautiful friendship, i'm glad we're there for each other though time and army and schooling doens't really allow it. next time drinks on me okay!

[my friend prefers to remain anonymous lest you guys hound on his door for not bringing you to equinox]

Vivocity with Sirius & Herman // Dempsey Road Ben&Jerries with Bryan

2007-09-21T02:11:00.001+08:00

a slow wednesday afternoon chillin' out round vivocity premises with my BMT buddies - Herman & Sirius. Starting off with a handpacked mix of Cookie Dough & Chunky Monkey (no herman, we don't want mango sorbet with the handpack -.-)

followed by Hotdog meals at Superdog...
(all the while talking about our legendary BMT days)

and FINALLY, down to Food Republic for some sweet treats!

ah yes, my accomplice in doing this....

for the platoon 4 office! yeah, he did the lettering on the right whilst i did the colouring for all the words. what a mighty team, pity our outfits for the photo. gawd.

okay, back to Vivocity. Missing BMT and PTP phase so much, we decided to hold our own AGR and I was Safety Officer, Herman was Conducting and Sirius was Supervising officer (duh, hello company best!)

unfortunately, someone did not have his 7 hours of ~~sufficient sleep~~ absolute rest, did not drink up half full water bottle, and did not sound off sick. i guess he fell out the hard way.

PS: some random dude sleeping in the most questionable position. heat exhaustion or sunny siesta?

*****

after the family dinner, i met up with Bryan @ vivocity AGAIN. and then we drove down to Dempsey Road for some desserts. and Lo and BEHOLD, for the 3rd time in 2 days, i'm having ...

BEN & JERRIES! (jies, don't say it, FSWL FSWL FSWL FSWL) Dempsey's Deco for B&J is so colonial, with it's high ceilings, fusion with a bar, and the fireplace and cosy furniture. and you can see, my good friend Bryan is happy to take this tourist-y picture (:

In his car!

PS: we just had an Apple Pie Ala Mode Vanilla Ice cream! coz we both had dinner before meeting up. and he blessed me with a DESTINY CD! Thanks Bryan, i'm very blessed by the CD and i hope to hear the live one this saturday :)

i'm glad i met up with Bryan, he really blesses me not just with little thoughtful gifts but by word of advice and the listening ear to my rants. :D

emo at 0121.

2007-09-21T01:17:00.000+08:00

my heart paltipates in the stillness of the night. the balmy feeling of nocturnal liberation and the hypnotic twirl of the ceiling fan.

i'm sitting here in front of the luminous screen and i feel empty.

looking back (it's almost like a monthly trait) into my life, i'd say i've done alot, but i've not done enough to feed my soul's greed for ambitious accomplishments.

what's next?

Paris Hilton has nothing on me.

2007-09-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

can someone spell socialite?

yesterday was with the Herman-nator (haha) and CB [Company best = Sirius] in the afternoon at vivo, followed by family dinner @ home, followed by Dempsey Road's Ben & Jerry's with Bryan.

today went to do some checkups and Xrays (don't ask), followed by IKEA with mummy (for more mirrors, haha), then watched Chuck & Larry with Alex and then EQUINOX (OMG) with a very old friend (who's so generous he shall not be named)

and then, tomorrow, Lunch @ Paragon with Chrystal the cousin, then the CCWA family boaters are coming over at night for some chillout/pigout sessions.

i think i'm happy. (: pictures up tomorrow.

a conversation.

2007-09-19T23:37:00.000+08:00

tim: you there?
G: always.
tim: how have you been?
G: busy, but always here for you.
tim: okay, someone just reminded me of the good things you've done.
G: so i've heard.
tim: okay you hear everything, i keep on forgetting.
G: it's okay.
tim: mmmm, i feel sad.
G: come to me. didnt you always?
tim: yeah, but i kinda digressed for 9 months haven't i.
G: you've been busy.
tim: well, in my defense, so have you.
G: but i always make time for my loved ones.
tim: that's a lot of people
G: always a spot for you
tim: u do know my plans for the weekend right?
G: right when you thought about it, i knew already.
tim: intuition?
G: nah, a quality of mine : sovereign
tim: so i guess you know my urge?
G: to come this saturday? of course.
tim: that's great. u do know that i have no intentions of making this long term for now?
G: i know that.
tim: but can i just come to your house?
G: sure. i'm always open.

breaking free

2007-09-19T03:19:00.001+08:00

have i learnt from these past few months? aplenty.

boundaries have been conquered. i breathe a sigh of great relief and grief, both at the same time. the heart bleeds for both victory and defeat, its really a myriad of emotions that scales through this mountain of uncertainty.

many people describe a situation like this as a closed chapter in life.

i don't.

i believe. this is like. a stack of cards thrown high up into the blue azure sky. the wind takes its course as it gently whispers words of wisdom and prediction as it caresses the cards through the air.

Why a stack of cards? life's a gamble, wherever each card lands on which continent of the world, it's based on a fraction of probability and the big enigma that is life itself.

would the king of hearts ever land on the same plateau as the queen of hearts again?

that's an enigma itself. and i'd leave it that way for now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DERRICK KONG!

2007-09-19T02:52:00.000+08:00

here's wishing a good friend and brother DERRICK KONG JUN XIAN a happy 22nd Birthday! it's been great having you around as a friend. You've brought laughter to the whole group with your unexpected antics and youthful presence (coughcough). we know deep inside you want nothing but the best for the group so stay that way! Let's mambo soon okay, we all know everyone hates us but secretly loves us coz they cannot mambo their way through life. LOVE YOU DEEPS DEEPS! :)

met up with the 2 jies before the dinner party. met at Novena and scouted all around there, proceeded to Suntec City, Marina Square, Raffles City, Heeren, Taka, Paragon, CK Tang, Isetan, Pacific Plaza and STILL could not find what we were looking for.

but of course, we dropped by our favourite eatery .. cough and did some stuff for Derrick. (see how much we loves you!)

after Cream Bistro (yes i fast forwarded the dinner part coz i don't have many pictures yet! oh alariccccc & jeremyyyyyy), met up with my favourite sluttaye Debbie. haha. and look at the array of orgasmic looks she can make.

okay lar, i' m a nice friend, i shall post up just one unglam pic of her.

she then went back to my house to watch some TV and slack whilst waiting for the bf. see i'm so nice, Hotel Isaac is always up in orchard. tsk.

Yingying's monday.

2007-09-18T01:14:00.000+08:00

a sneak preview of my newly revamped room, notice the lime green walls, the blue bed and my newly fixed IKEA mirrors which i DIY-ed :D (with the help of the maid of course). yet to be completed, the TV table, the built in wardrobe, newly hashed curtains.

meeting up with ms Eliza Gan Yingying of CHC fame. haha. yes, we pigged out literally @ Carls Jr followed by B&J with a ginormous hand packed serving of CCCD and CG. gosh, so much for all the hard work at BMT.

and i did remember ages ago when i first enlisted? i promised to show you guys what my lovely CCWA family did for me during my first 2 weeks? the letter-a-day? well, here it is guys! so many personalised postcards (like Derrick's ISAAC ISABELLA IVY CHAN MUST DIE from the JohnTuckerMustDie parody postcard -.-) and handwritten letters and printed photos! so precious that they're worth more than gold man. loves you all and am already all hyped up for the upcoming events! :)

okay. 7days to block leave, but i've already gotten myself so busy with appointments i needa find time for myself.

and enough of channel 5 news reports on my blog, time for some serious waxing .

..
.
.
..
soon. ah procrastination!

from popthemusicdrug

2007-09-17T18:03:00.000+08:00

back to primary school! please finish the sentences in the most coherent manner possible (25 marks)

i am not : feeling 100% good

i am: recovering from food poisoning since the Chalet (photos up soon)

i hurt: easily!

i love: unconditionally

i hate : being sick

i fear: my plan A not coming to past.

i hope: to be happy with no strings attached one day.

i play : with players.

i cry : at any happy endings of any movie (no matter how romantic it is)

i care: too much about the welfares of others that i overstep it sometimes.

i wish: i studied harder in poly, heck, i wish i studied harder for Os.

i always : say that i'll never repeat the same mistake twice.

i listen: to catchy beats and club-friendly remixes.

i sing: good enough.

i dance: like sex with clothes on.

i search: for an answer to life

i learn: things slowly

i feel: that we all should give a damn about others instead of ourselves all the time

i know: others better than i know myself

i succeed: rarely coz i don't put in the effort required.

i fail: at relationships.

i dream: whenever, wherever

i sleep: coz i need to, not because i want to. life's too short for siestas.

i wonder: where'll i be posted to?

i need: money, time and a guardian to push me from procrastinating =X

i want: to spend more time with my loved ones (u know who ya all are!)

i worry: that i'll never have the V shaped body i desire

i have: a charming wit (that is more obvious and vehemently manifests when i'm "sexually frustrated" quote unquote TSBF)
i fight: for justice

i wait: for things beyond my control and also, when i procrastinate. heh

i think: too much that it's unhealthy

i can't help the fact that: i'm empathic, too empathic that it can make you hurl

i stay: right in town. so call me out will you?

a letter to the pre-enlistee

2007-09-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

my dear Buddy Reza,

i have gone through the mandatory macho rite of passage and i've come out (albeit with a big of bruise, scratch and the lingering abrasion).

i've made friends that i can keep for life, i've gained experiences never to be forgotten and most of all, i've developed character that enforces my strong will.

i hope the notebook (pictured) i've bought for you be a sanctuary of your innermost thoughts, from the initial days of (definitely) insecurity, fear, trepidation, bashfulness and the like, to a transitional mood of angst & whiny-ness (on how f-ed up army life is) to just administrative recollections of your trainings (boy you're gonna find field camp memorable)

so cheers to your PTP BMT, and may yours just be as tough but memorable as mine.

many loves from your buddy of 4 years,

isaac.

Friends with smiles and family with contentment.

2007-09-14T21:12:00.001+08:00

mummy's proud moment (:
thanks Hifzan, not only as a PC in camp, but also as a friend outside. (:

Menottis for a post-POP party with Aviel. FSNL hor the desserts.

post-POP coffee date with the cousins Matthew & Nicole @ Starbucks Liat Tower!

11th September 2007 - Eventful!

2007-09-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

without these 2 pals of mine, i'd never get through my relationship problems. thanks Darren & Ben. we'll try to be there for each other throughout the next phase ya, skali we all end up in SISPEC. HOHO.

OC: WHOS THE BEST?!

Happy Birthday Mr Fong! :)

Day 1 of Block leave!

2007-09-13T02:44:00.000+08:00

so went to IKEA with The Matriach, Aunt Sue & Cousin Nicole. and my scrumptous lunch consisted of it's acclaimed Swedish Meatballs, and Salmon whose sauce is absolutely delicious.

went looking for a good wardrobe (mine literally fell apart) and a TV desk, and picked up some nice mirrors to hang around to make my large room larger. haha. whoring a bit

met up with very gorgeous karmic twin for a while @ Vivocity! :) for a while before i went to watch Hairspray with ...

Mr Naga.

Hairspray was good, i really have this thing for musicals made to screen.. Chicago etc. gosh, and can i say i love Queen Latifah? her features are really fit for screen. really good (:

As much as it was weird seeing JohnTravolta in drag, i'd say it was a good performance. not oscar worthy, but maybe a chuckle or two.

POP LO!

2007-09-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

POP lo.

and i'm terribly emo coz i'll be missing the fun all of us had, especially the last night, staying up eating and drinking.. saboh-ing you guys with camo cream, prickly heat powder, toothpaste.

i miss you guys already.

photos up soon! :)

2 days to POP

2007-09-09T13:40:00.000+08:00

i don't know whether saturday evening was good closure.

maybe i didn't want it to end in a way. i just felt peaceful once more and i haven't had this feeling for a while already.

***

2 more days to POP. god, the course is about to come to an end. the friendships, the pain, the endurance to get through this.

no wonder many fathers and dads say that their BMTs were the best days. and really, i think this might be the best days of my NS life.

but no i'm not signing on. LOL.

well, my section will indeed be missed. from the ni-ye-chee-bye quotes, to the cup noodle parades (which i didn't wanna be part of coz of ahem), or the OLD SKOOL moments, or the JJ watching TV-locker moments, or KC's "OEIIII HURRY UP LEH" moments...

even the friendships i've forged, i'll make it work out.

the next posting. i hope i get into you-know-where, with many of my buddies being drafted for that unit as well. milton, zhihao, ben seow..

it's so exciting, but would also love to take a step back, and just think of the wonderful times i've had at Tekong BMTC School 2 ORION coy Platoon 4.

Religious(?) Saturdays and Mandy Moments!

2007-09-02T11:02:00.000+08:00

this lucky girl got to watch this ...

with me! :) Cinema Europa is frigging 10 bucks excuse me. KNN, at least the seats were comfortable and boy were me and Debbie chuckling throughout some scenes coz they were so nostalgic back when we were at ___. Ahem. and wad a uncanny resemblance on the "main actress" and she-who-shan't-be-named.

afterwards, flew from Vivo down to town to meet up with the karmic twin, gorgeous as ever *sticks tongue out and awaits Mandy's stabbing fork*

me and the twin's boyfriend. JD and my brother's school mate / ex church leader. what a friendster link.

say hello to Geisha. she's bringing sexy back.

*****

one of my life's principles is that i do not ever, EVER test the ones i love. if i love, i love unconditionally.

i give, i give unconditionally.

i don't tell ppl "i was just testing you... you failed"

isn't this just horrible? to not only test people, but to actually admit/confess that you did it? it's like a slap in the face about ethics.

somehow, the people i love. are slowly. diminishing.

do i mind it ? perhaps.

how about the people who love me? i don't know, because i'm not them. but i'm just grateful that they show it.

non-pregnancy craving.

2007-08-31T21:41:00.000+08:00

excerpts from a recruit's walk.

2007-08-26T17:15:00.000+08:00

just while i'm packing to book in again, this time i accidentally brought along my blue bunny journal book which buddy Reza (PS I MISS YOU) gave to me before i enlisted, as i flipped through the many scribbled pages, many memories just came haunting back. in a good way, some not.

3rd July 2007

"just what is it about bringing along hte burdens and past hurts from previous relationships to your current?

is there usch a deterrence? we're living in constant fear and insecurity that unfaithful (or any other respective vice) partners are rife

will there ever be a resolution to this stigmatic potential killer to intimacy?

the answer is no. there is no evitable doubt that we will, in time-to-tim question or suspect or doubt our loyalty. this is caused by circumstances and the occasionally uncontrolled emotions.

I remembered the ex saying " i can't or will not bleieve anything you say till i see it" over the phone. true. i admire long distance relationships. but i admire the harsh reality, that is the less you see your partner, the higher chance of infidelity.

how do we overcome this factor that negatively pushes the relationship of every healthy human? visual/ expressive trust. not just trust, but trust through visible or audible methods.
"

***

10th July 2007

7 things that make me Euphoric in TEKONG!

1. ice cream instead of fruit during meal times
2. the few seconds before sergeant yells "berhenti" after a march from the cookhouse
3. topless wherever in the bunk. SHIOK SEH SO COOLING AFTER PT SIAAAA.
4. messages from loved ones on my phone
5. The zouk Polaroid of me & the boaters pasted on my locker door
6. afternoon admin time
7. Cat 1 signal! (RAIN!)

***

26th July 2007

Field camp's over! it was quite memorable, there were its high times and low times as well. but i did not get the full force discipline due to my flatfoot problems (which PS: getting worse!) so no pushups till the last day or funny exercises. I guess the memorable period was when it rained non stop for 4 days. and we were leopard crawling through the mud and subsequently sleeping in it. gross.

but during some points while i was trawling through the yuck, i though is infantry duty for 6 months worth the rank of a sergeant?

you won't realise how out of my shell i felt sleeping on a wet muddy groundsheet. but through this, i was convinced o fmy decision.

****

6th August 2007

the tears i cry at romantic movies or when i just think back. the deep emotional attachements i felt for you for me for us

you told me to move on. i tried eventually, then the phone call happened. and it made me think again. think a lot, but i didn't reply much lest i say things that could trigger the raw emotional hurt that might manifest. i tried to convince myself to believe in what you said that we won't work out. maybe we won't but i'm just tied down by what we had and what we could have had.

i guess we had a different interpretation on love.

*****

20th August 2007

now that only 2 route marches are left, Orion 4 is in a rather peaceful state, i ______________ so that i could pursue my As, driving and basically be there for the Matriach.

by 2007, 15 june Monday ORD!

i will

-complete my GCE A levels with decent grades
-get into NTU SCI , NUS FASS or SMU Biz / Social Science
-Driving license achieved!

******

24th August 2007

tears tears, are like rain.
there's always a seasonal downpour

but when it hits the ground. it proves its worth the journey, it benefits its experience to others. to the ground. to the flowers. to the fauna.

2007-08-26T12:05:00.001+08:00

not in the best periods of my life again. the anguish, hurt, sorrow, melancholy, reminisce and all that typical cliche jargon emo people use to describe their entries.

i'm just not myself for awhile. and it's just not right anymore.

but i just can't take the first step to change anything. there's enough hurt going around to start more.

Melancholy Photos.

2007-08-26T11:27:00.000+08:00

me and Aviel after watching Evan Almighty

something for your viewing pleasure. this was.. *counts* about year 1 poly, hence, 4 years ago. dramatic change. hawt and prettaye. LOL.
i miss you buddy.
i miss you guys too.

****
Saturday High Tea with my good ole Cirque De Soleil Colleague of 2 years ago!

Toast @ Taka, quietly tucked away behind all the atas shops. it serves very delicious cupcakes! (mine's Nutella coated) and nice Mango Lassi Shakes.

the crazy flounder JACKIE!
me and my very sinful decadence Nutella cupcake & Mango Lassi. the textiles are nice too, it's very aeronautical (don't ask) and very bathroom tiles @ the same time.

i hope to get into SMU with ya too jacq! but by then you'll be graduating.

Vintage meets Boho.

**

"If you pray to God for strength, does He give you strength? No, He gives you the OPPORTUNITY to show and develop strength" - Evan Almighty (2007)

spreading wings and words

2007-08-19T18:17:00.001+08:00

my weekend.. quite eventful i suppose.. met up with Uncle Alan for tea on saturday afternoon accompanied with Killiney's famous curry puffs, or meeting up with Debbie for a quick lunch @ Marina Sq this afternoon.

*

gah, so many things to write about, to voice, to express.. but the countdown to booking in has severely limited myself to word constipation.

and a tied up throat with words being accumulated at the neck. it's suffocating.

actually, everything is, we all come to a point where a chapter closes and things are left behind.

and sometimes when you open a new chapter in your life, you realise, it's going through the motion once again.

the old has been made new
the grave-going has been made young
the timid has been made weak
the strong has been made tough

and deja vu repeats itself once again

*

sometimes, when you lack sleep, you technically become depressed.

the key word is technically.

some pictures before bookout (@#&!(#&!(#

2007-08-19T17:33:00.000+08:00

they came over earlier to cut the cake and making frozen watermelon martinis & lychee shockers using the good ole blender! plus, the Ben&Jerry cake i ordered was tasty. pity my bad time management that caused us to rush to the club earlier.

ahh, 2007's loot, excluding TSBF Leon & Kelly Jie's EH Cap that i just recevied last night. not bad aye! :) thanks alot all.

say goodbye to my dirty white walls and cluttered belongings.

Sunday had a chest so thick

2007-08-19T11:07:00.000+08:00

so i'm stuck at home supervising the painting of the other rooms of the house, which PS: mine is totally LIME GREEN :)

so yes, a boring sunday with so much clearing up to do simultaneously while doing an eagle eye onto the workers ensuring the white coat of paint is immaculately placed.

yes, the sarcasm is very thick.

ohwells. at least i got a nice room colour and it's time to do some heavy clearing up and cleaning, but thanks to the wonderous lifestyle that is the Tekong chalet, i am left with minimal hours to clean and clear.

i'd love to write so much about camp, but SAF forbids me to.

Rihanna - Please don't stop the Music

post-party afterthought

2007-08-12T15:20:00.000+08:00

the party was a blast somewhat.

i'm pretty much speechless now that i think back. i don't know whether that's a good thing or not.

so happy 20th to me!

thank you for growing up all these years, all one-fifth of a century old.
thank you for going through a breakup and holding in some of your emotions back.
thank you for moving past failures and picking yourself up.
thank you for coming out of the passive shell and be a leader.
thank you for enduring pain cause tough times don't last, tough men do.
thank you for knowing where your true friends are
thank you for learning things you'd never thought you'd learn
thank you for being a klutz at times cause you can only laugh at yourself in this lifetime
thank you for crying when you're down, you felt better after
thank you for laughing that unique laugh, that extinguishes any sorrow from others
thank you for coping with the unbearable pain of losing a member of the family, it made you stronger
thank you for bearing the grievances of others, patience developed from there
thank you for expecting less from others, they're bound to disappoint you someday
thank you for thinking alot, dreams, visions and ideas sprung forth from there
thank you for gossiping, it's therapeutic
thank you for eating, food for the soul and comforting to the heart
thank you for slimming down, it made you hotter
thank you for worrying, it makes Murphy's law more bearable.
thank you for identifying yourself as the unique one that everyone celebrates on 11th august (and a minor few that laments)

-----

presents photos people and pictures are gonna be up next friday. thank you all for the presents and wellwishes. i know the theme was hard, but i'm glad you guys dressed up anyway (:

11th August 2007

2007-08-11T14:53:00.000+08:00

the big two zero.

Liquor!

2007-08-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

Hello Mr Bols and welcome to the liquor family. you may be the most different from the Absoluts, but you'll make a great neighbour. and better yet, you'll be the next one used this saturday (: surprise.

so the alone time was good. no conversations with anyone (well, except bumping into Eliza Gan Yingying at orchard) just aimlessly walking around Raffles City.

which FYI, boy was Singapore having a big period. Red was EVERYWHERE in all shades and hues.

yeah, the alone time was good (like i said) i smiled to myself at times. just grateful to have this time to rethink and reflect.

boy i really do cherish civilian life. well, at least i bought some stuff to surprise the boys back at camp. ORION 4 Section 2 :D afterall, August is the time for birthdays (not _just_ mine)

***

in 2 days, gawd! i'm so excited! i really can't wait for everyone to have a good time. it's so weird, i rarely throw parties (well only on a rare annual basis), heck, actually the last time i threw a party was in sec 3.

but i guess, when you're in the army, everyday outside of camp is a good time to celebrate! i hope everyone has a good time.

and i hope i don't get wasted. lol.

.

2007-08-09T17:45:00.001+08:00

"i know this is out of the blue, but i'm getting married tomorrow. well, maybe i am. I keep thinking about you and i'm wondering if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? No, of course you're not. but if you are, call me tonight"
- Emily to Ross, FRIENDS Season 5.

red. not just the flag.

2007-08-09T13:38:00.000+08:00

what a fucked up national day.

not only do i miss the live telecast of the NDP first time @ Marina Bay

i'm gonna be out in town alone thanks to ahem someone flying my plane. i swear i'm gonna throw an apple martini on my birthday. ha. kidding.

but i guess i'm gonna run errands around town as usual and get some party favourites up. i think some good ole me time has been missing for a while.

maybe it's time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN (MY) THE WORLD!

2007-08-08T17:29:00.000+08:00

TO THE SPECIAL GIRL IN MY HEART

you know, i didn't expect us to go so far in this friendship we have .. through our ugly times as R2D2, jabba the hut and bucktooth mutants...

or your geeky days and my gay smile days..

where we're all hush hush about our affairs even though it's quite open with our other halves...

or when we're all luohaned up and swollen in the faces from laugh cramps....

or when you always try to cheer me up with fake kisses when i'm down and i pull a *aheM* long face...

but still, you're an inner twit at heart.. aND I IsH OwiEZxZXz luRBChEwZXZXz~!

and i've gone through your different hairstyles.. bangs. side fringes.. no fringe (cough)

but you're always gorgeous, coz i'm always fabulous. we've been through sticky food courts, airconditioned malls, clubs..

but when we come back to the first time we got to know each other very well (above), there was a special atmosphere and i'm glad we've been through 11 months (nearly a year lar OMG!)

i'll gladly open my mouth and shout out "THANK YOU FOR BEING MY PRECIOUS FRIEND! -murmur- thoughwedon'tspendmuchtimenowadaysnowthatwe'reattachedtoourotherhalvescoughcough- "

but hey, we'll be professional
and pose our way through this period of life
for i'll stick by you and i've got your back...
you'll be goofy and i like that, you're yourself and i like that, you're the typical all girl and i like that ..
i love you Mandy Soh :) have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR. no greater sibling love than this. hearts my karmic twin deepzxzxzx.

Hotel Paper Memoirs (Adelaide 2007)

2007-08-08T16:40:00.001+08:00

i was clearing my room (getting it repainted hurrah!) and i saw this old piece of Holiday Inn Adelaide Paper.. man, i used to write poem/songs alot during my adelaide trips and during that time of great .. feelings.

When i loved thee

You held my hand, my heart began to rose

we broke up, then we said to close

so far away, many miles apart

only choice was to seperate from the start

it's the things to say to mend my broken wings

it's the only thing among others that i want to say

we were great for each other in the first few months

but now, it's gone too fast

i want to make myself happy

after many months of sorrow

there were just that many shoulders

for my tears to borrow

it was a great tragedy

a future wasn't on our list

bitter tears and broken hearts

reconciliations was my greatest wish

then the truth came out

and your heart was devoted to someone else

oh so sad, this fairytale didn't materialise

so sad that our hearts never again were to rise

too bad, you'll never taste the sweet sincerity

that came together when i loved... thee.

moving on is the only way for tears to dry

getting out cause there's nothing left to try

i can't sleep knowing the shit i've gone through

and it's all because of you

Far apart (and lovin' it)

weather's cold the heart's cold

but i'm feeling so right

close your eyes, don't despise

coz you're busy with him all night

i went to sleep without a tear

for i know that nothing's worth you near

baby, it's gone and it ain't worth a shit

coz you're far apart and i'm loving it

the comforts feeling right

don't need you to hold me tight

i want some space to tell myself that this isn't worth the fight

dont' talk to me about getting together

nor bout talks about being friends forever

your dreams and fairytales are so wrong

and it's hard for us to get along.

Wherever you are

midnight

summerlight

drinking in the moment

stupid fights

drunken nights

crying over scared shit

now i'm so whatever

when you come back

i'll be wherever

when you're here i'll be somewhere far away

in my happy place

oh times were rought, my heart could not stand,

but now here's the finger

from my own strong right hand

now i'm so whatever
when you come back
i'll be wherever
when you're here i'll be somewhere far away
in my happy place

okay, so THIS was how i felt that night. surprisingly enough, it's different now. but i guess i do have alot of angst.

damn you Avril Lavigne. but my rhyming ain't that bad. haha. though on song it might be different. hmmm.

okay, chucked it into the bin already. so this is all that's left of this memory.