selah again!

in the comforts of my office, waiting for a high rank to come and vet the corporate video i'm doing for him, i have hence denegerated into a lifeless sloth in front of the I-Net.

as well as gorging myself so much these past 2 days that even the legendary foodie Bryan W would blush.

i apologise to myself for the past few weeks, i've let myself and my sanity be overtaken by thoughts that materalised out of even smaller thoughts. its' a chain reaction really. i'm finally back on track with a much more stable mentality.

whatever's meant to be shall past. whatever isnt' shall go.

midnight jogging. needed.

i so need to run.

my thoughts are getting clogged again, and i'm not thinking straight.

if given the ability to reverse time, i'd just be friends. it's getting to become a guessing game and hangman all at the same time.

something revelational at SGH

my department had the half day off to go see our dept i/c James @ SGH after his sinus operation.

when we entered, we saw his girlfriend, taking time off her teaching job just to accompany him, heard she was there for over 12 hours already.

after the operation, there would be bleeding coming out from the eye, the mouth and the nose. so you could imagine the mess it was.

however, the thing that touched me most was, the girl was so mentally strong, she just helped james wipe off the blood from his cotton-patched nose without any flinching, or any look of disgust, she helped swipe the blood-stained eye of his with a smile, and took the spitoon bowl when he needed to spit out the phelgm/blood and other salivary substances (that happened very often)

i looked at them and smiled in admiration. james is a lucky ass, for a girlfriend who cared so much to take time off her career. and to be able to joke freely, like she's his best friend.

no wonder The Matriach found it hard when my dad passed away, indeed marriage, or heck, relationships are when you find your bestfriend and you compliment each other and take time for each other.

i think that was real sweet and life taught me a damn good lesson about relationships today.

something for a 3some.

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1) have a long lasting healthy relationship
2) get my own property
3) afford my own funeral

Three Names You Go By:
1) Isaac
2) Zhi / Zhiyang
3) "oei bitch!"

Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1) 志
2) itczy
3) Isaac

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1) Skin - quite smooth on the face, some girls would kill for this. :)
2) big hands - oh yes. *wink wink*
3) ears - proportionate, goldilock-ish. not too big nor small.

Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1) Chinese
2) Thai
3) -

Three Things That Scare You:
1) Rejection
2) Death
3) Rejection

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1) wallet
2) Hp
3) my facebook account. (ha)

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1) instantkarma tank top "DOOR BITCH"
2) my beloved but soon-to-be-chui GANT pants
3) sexy BUM undies (oo lala)

Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1) Natasha Beddingfield
2) Rihanna
3) Goo Goo Dolls

Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1) Natasha Beddingfield - Soulmate
2) Rihanna - Don't stop the music
3) Carrie Underwood - Some Hearts

Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1) a best friend
2) loyalty (don't you dare go fuckin' around)
3) communication / transparency

Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1) built - i ain't want no michelin man or 2d-figure.
2) Looks - whoever said looks does not matter is lying (i agree with my twin deeps)
3) jawlines. something about 'em.

Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1) dancing
2) dragonboating
3) volleyball

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1) not think about someone
2) kiss someone
3) forget someone.

Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1) Church Worker (quick laugh it out!)
2) Teacher
3) Piano Performer

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1) Australia
2) Taiwan
3) Krabi

Three Kid's Names You Like:
1) Jade
2) Brandon
3) Keagan

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:
1) I whine
2) I have bitch fits and mood swings
3) I love shopping. period.

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1) I am lazy. lazy lazy lazy.
2) I do not know when is my limit in pursuing the one i love.
3) I pick my nose.

Three People You Tag:
1) Twin Gorgeous
2) Dominic
3) Mabel

ja ja jaded.

lazing around the house for the whole Sunday gives me lotsa time to organise my room, clean the house, do something productive, make a difference to society and cultivate world peace step by step.

not.

i woke up to a messy room and upon clearing one box of stuff, i proceeded to surf facebook.com, and afterward traipsing downstairs to the living room to watch cartoon network and nickelodeon in between bouts of power naps and surviving on grape yakult and a pau for a total of 8 hours till dinner.

my mind's not in the mood. i really think that i'm gonna be happy being single and STAY single. i don't wanna wear my heart on my sleeve anymore (as much as i insist it's not gonna happen, some perfectly fine potential comes in and stirs everything up, life's a bitch ain't it)

and the fact that it's so complicated makes it worse. aiya. i wish i didn't think so much (as much as many of you all disgree!)

let's look foward to something.

*hesitates*

christmas!

heres to good fuzzy feelings, presents galore, food food foodies, nice lightups, bargains and sales and partying with your friends.

not.

heres to bills bills bills, expanding waistlines, crowded mobs of disgusting smelly people, overpriced inflated items, partying with your unconscious drunken friends.

-
i swear i'm becoming jaded on not just the aspect of love, but for life and in general. gah. random rants. stupid work tomorrow.

just call me angsty_b0i87rawkzx@hotmail.com lol

what happened to my social life?

if they say that the house maketh a man, then i am very messy and in renovations. what happened to my social life? man. i miss these people. some i see often, but nv had heart t heart chats.

twins shouldn't be seperable. x'mas shopping soon!

i don't know what happened, i don't know what's with your problems. hope to hear from you soon.

our next foodie committee meal, must be before x'mas guys! or before yuwen flies off again!

get out of camp lar bitch. :P

truly sensational. more gelare times pal. (:

always a place in my heart. it's the mugging period for all you uni-woonies, and a travelling time for atas-swinging-singles to go abroad hor. tsk! brekos with me next time lar! i promise i won't work on that day if you all ask earlier. LOVES!

Bee-zy B. sooon!

thursday blessing.

so an old friend, Joseph and i hung out this evening.

starting out by making 2 circles around Kim Seng area hesitating on Zion road Food centre

afterwhich, settling at Cold rock @ Holland V for some chunky unconventionally mixed icecream and confectionary/chocolates.

to Mt Faber, to relive my childhood days of non-commercial hills (alas) and circling around it twice, to take a better glimpse of the blue-neon christmas tree (and couples making out and getting it on in the jiggling stationary vehicles and misty condensed windshield)

and finally to Labrador Park, facing the jetty, overlooking the vast panoramic view of the waters beyond.

what a fruitful thursday. aside from Acolades and Anecdotes exchanged, i learnt one thing from him and his ex: persevere, and take it easy. i didn't realise how long they went out before they got together, a friggin 7 months. can you believe that?

and for myside, i'm taking things slow still.. just as godpa adviced. (:

alots on my mind (what's new?) i'm just waiting for your side to initiate.

something productive

something i've learnt in camp today, thanks to my upperstudy. the wonders of imageready (too lazy to get macromedia flash)



boy do i love pandan cake.

bottled.

i don't know whether i can take it.

and where did my time go towards?

random photos.

Halloween 2007 - cheryl and me. naughtaye boy scout and kinky nurse. hawtt.

overdue! this was like.. during my block leave after BMT. mid sept?


see the similarity?
chomp. i love my hot fuck, i mean hot fudge sundae. :)

angelina jolie has NOTHING on us :)

Carrie Underwood - Don't forget to remember me.

Carrie Underwood - "Don't Forget To Remember Me"

18 years have come and gone
For momma they flew by
But for me they drug on and on
We were loading up that Chevy
Both tryin' not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said
'Baby don't forget

Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in the ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever lose your way

Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me'

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
Keep telling me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's alright
Before we hung up I said
'Hey momma, don't forget to tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall
And tell mee-ma that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me'

Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
'Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place
Yeah, I know there are more important things,
But don't forget to remember me
But don't forget to remember me'

let's take things real..

i'm happy this way. :)

if you're guilty of ANY of BOTH of these faux pas.

Social Networking Faux Pas

Instant Messenging (MSN) Faux Pas

any more than 5 from each, you're probably someone very chui. CHANGE NOW! haha

guess who was at the club?

Natasha sundays.

listening to MTV Live: Natasha Beddingfield @ Madrid. her voice is absolutely enchanting. it's like Joss Stone meets Lauryn Hill. that melodic, that enthralling. "Unwritten" came on at its finale and i just bopped to the beat on my L shaped sofa, resting upon dozens of odd shaped pillows (including Mabel's "husband" garfield & the Pfizer Pillow) and relaxed.

it's nice to have someone to hold through these feel good moments, but also nice to spend it alone. reflecting how good life is.

it's my declaration of independence.

LEO!

very true. what a feel good moment (:

*****

there's nothing going on really. but i enjoyed that meal at the train station.

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

saturday morning after.

minor hangover. (what's new?)

sometimes. good things come for boys who wait. and last night was a sneak preview.

some pictures from my loves!

before heading off to Zouk! can i say how formal we ALL look? :)


the toast that revolutionised the way we work as a group, and as a family. boy i wish i could jot down every single toast message we all said out. it really was a heartwarming thing. :) i can't wait for December, we have stuff lined up as well. w00ts!

and i'm finally gonna sleep. and did i mention that the rewiring's almost done? i slept on the couch downstairs but tonight, i'm in the luxurious comfort of my bed and room with fully equipped aircon, electricity anddddd INTERNET! :D

TGIF!

Emo @ 0200. TGIF!

i see many of my friends falling in love all over again. i think that's great really.

in this world, being alone is okay, feeling lonely isn't.

some of us take a longer time to find their true love, some are in the midst of finding theirs and some have already pretty much decided that they've found it.

and as a friend i definitely revel in the joy you guys have found in your other half. your soul mates. your completion of your heart.

those who haven't, like me, don't fret, sometimes, all it starts as friends, and whatever happens. happens and it happens for a reason. don't question yourself for things beyond your control, and don't blame yourself for things that have happened.

if we were all Gods, it's war of the worlds down here, throw some lightning bolts man.

and PS: MSN nicknames don't speak out much especially in anger, it's just all about seeking attention, or worse, seek self-pity in a morbid way.

afterall, it's MSN. not My Social Network. oh wait, does it mean that? ha.

recent photos.

@ Scarlet Hotel with ...

the birthday boy Terence! happy birthday dude :)

selah

my silly gullible, influential pushover heart. i don't wanna fall into pits again and again and again. ngggh.

inherent absence. apologies!

"speak out if you do, you're not easy to find" - Natasha Beddingfield

***

sorry for the inherent lack of updates, my house an utter mess and a complete clutter catastrophe (hellooo alliteration!) thanks to the major rewiring and renovation of the upper storey bathrooms. and to think that all this madness will only stop before x'mas.

on a good note, less than 6 weeks till christmas! as my twin would say, can you feel it yet?

now, my mind's all in a jumble, so whatever i can regurgitate i will. try to keep up.

***

walking back from city hall to orchard with Dominic is TIRING. and to think we attempted this walk-athon at 2330hrs yesterday night. it was supposed to be THE menage e trois, but apparently someone was caught up, no names mentioned here *Whistles* ha. loves still k.

***

been running 3 times a week now, and i can feel my back muscles being strengthened. with an average of 35mins each mon, wed, fri. running around tiongbahru, novena, tanglin respectively. i've no idea the distance i cover, but considering i'm running just a wee bit slower than my IPPT test speed, i've a feeling i've covered a substantial amount. and i'm so working on my abs recently. time to get back some BMT glory!

***

office has been rather slack since the passing of the COC ceremony, being tasked with smaller projects that have the possibility of being added into my portfolio. watching movies as well makes time go by faster, with a record of "Because I Said So" (mandy moore, diane keaton), "My Super Ex Girlfriend" (Uma Thurman), "Blades of Glory" ( Will Ferrell ), "Good Luck Chuck" (Jessica Hotsex Alba) and soon to be watching the Nanny Diaries & Just Follow Law and many more to go.

yes mabel jie you can so start stabbing me with your paddle now. :D

***

the party night on friday with the ccwa LOVES @ Phuture was damn fun. it has been so long since we partied like no tomorrow. (well, no training on the following day sure helped)

drinking shots at my house, fooling around with my gigantic stuffed garfield. all the CHUI pictures (that'll never see the light of the day outside of our photo folders), and then making fun of taxi drivers en route to Zouk.

Phuture was good, but effing packed, thanks to the Deepavali holiday that lead on to the weekends. chanting to Rihanna's Don't stop the music. and followed by the super chui event of having supper. using the camera to take pictures of the *ahem* grand canyon (wink wink) and then proceeding to have a mini war with derrick spitting ice throw straws (very juvenile hor!) , or worse, taking pictures of orgasmic faces. LOL fuck thinking about those pictures damn funny lar. i miss that. and our special guest bryan was all there to videophone our antics.

if i see it on youtube.com ... boy i'll .. -.-

***

team gathering on sunday @ Marketplace Plaza @ Raffles City, buffet galores with the whole team, it was nice getting to know people outside of the clique better, and when you mix weiyin+mabel with cameras, you get a lot of photos. and it felt nice just to hang around them on a lazy sunday afternoon, a totally different scenario when your'e outside the kallang river.

also watched Bee Movie on Sunday! it's rather entertaining and i'm thankful steven spielberg and jerry seinfield transformed it from a bee-wearing man to an animation, boy if they didn't, i'd say it'd be a sure flop in the box office.

it's heartwarming, but didn't make me cry this time. yay i think i'm getting immune to cartoon plots.

***

i guess that pretty much sums up my activities for the past few days.

oh oh,

DJ JUNIOR VASQUEZ LIVE @ PLAY THIS SATURDAY! Early Bird Tickets are going fast, so faster get yours today! :)

he's a amazing DJ who's done remixes to popular tunes of Beyonce, Madonna & Christina in particular, but i'd expect a not-too-familiar set on saturday (as do all guest djs ala hex hector)

i'll see you guys there!

over out.

take a walk back to tiong bahru!

Happy Deepavali!

waking up around noon.. having lunch in Tiong Bahru Market with The Matriach, flirting my way to a discount at Bamboo Cane Juice (haha) Stall, simple wanton mee, enriching talks, ending it off with the peanut soup (tang yuan).

i'm amazed at the facelift tiong bahru market has had, i remmeber my fond years as a child, waking up in the wee hours (well i still do) of the morning, just to follow The Matriach and Aileen the maid to the market, i'd walk through the wet market, in dainty little flip flops with an oversized discoloured power ranger tee shirt, scared at the ways the owners hawked their fares of cold poultry, reeky fish and vegetables with a myriad of colours.

Afterwhich, we'd adjourn to the cooked foods for a takeway of heart fare, that included the famous chee kway, doughsticks (you tiao), vegetarian bee hoon with its oh-so-artery-clogging gravy.

the car would smell of (oddly) durian, everyone was sweating profusely, but when you arrive at the house gate, you see the sun glowing and rising. you feel, a somewhat family peace.

and flashback to today, just driving away from the hustle and bustle of TB market at 1300 hours, the faint memories come flying back, with an additional wanton of nostalgia and peacefulness.

and now i'm currently at my uncle's house as my own is undergoing thorough renovations, which involved major rewiring, so everything's wrapped in plastic to avoid dust (riiite) and workers are a dime a dozen, working on every room a the same frigging time. i slept on the sofa, which everyone agrees is as good as a bed, only to be woken up by a drill. (no sexual connotations please)

i think, Deepavali is probably one of my more serene holidays of this year. no wild excitement, no rush of blood to the head, no climatic turns. just family oriented times.

meeting up with the signal buddies later on. can't wait!

One Art - Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.


---

again, this is In Her Shoes we're talking about. thanks Kimbo (long time no hear!) for the copy&paste.

i shall withhold from saying too much about my interpretation of this poem, but to put it short, sometimes, it's not just about failures instead of victory, but it's about letting go of things, of people, of property. as valuable as it is, sometimes, letting go is the best way.

and also, coz of the movie, i shall get a dress for my mum. (go read it)

In Her Shoes

i'm watching In Her Shoes right now, it's about 2 sisters who are polar opposites, but somehow, similar. (i know you're going ?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!? but yeah)

and it makes me miss my brother.

and the dating scene. gosh.

and most importantly, how independent these people were without their emotional baggage. they did dog-washing jobs, running away from car-hijacking rapists, or doing old ladies' hairs @ home, lawyers, sleeping with your sister's boyfriend, trying on your sister's shoes (hence the movie title), adding milk to your haagen daaz ice cream, going for MTV auditions, finding old nostalgic wellwishing cards with money in side during your childhood days, walking around in a skiimpy bikini and denim hotskirts with abs to show (damn you cameron)

can i say how underappreciative i've been to my channel 58 and 60? time to be a bit more seclusive and be a literal couch potato.

you

you can't stop people from talking.

but you can stop telling people things.

friends.

i think i finally realized the importance.

AHOY!

hello there cherrybonanza, how have you been?

i've been becoming less reliant on this blog for my emotional, political and at odd times trivial outpours :)

at least Christmas is coming! :) hope you guys are feeling the festive mood.