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jealousyouare.blogspot.com

hello Denver Goh, my fellow dramatist junior from GESS.

seems like you never learn your lesson don't you? i don't wish to start a cat fight if that's what you want, because

#1 if you take my paris hilton statement seriously. then boy are you deluded in this world, because number 1, it was a joke. number 2, it was a comical statement and number 3, it was in jest.

#2 you know me and you blatantly bitch about me? what have i done to you? maybe i'm suffering the burdens of God because He made you ugly.

#3 the internet is a world wide domain. i hope you stop this childishness. if you think that i'm being so click-ish and all that, sorry that my life is indeed far more exciting than yours. you can try to be like me, i don't mind. or try to be better than me, go ahead. i'm secure that i've got who i have as friends. they've got privileges and they treat me to these, i'm indeed grateful for their invitations.

besides, it's an obsession isn't it? it's 2008 already and you're bitching about sept 07, like hello, if you're a runway enthusiast or fashionista or gabragabra, then you should know to be the "new black" or the most IN thing at the moment.

:) thanks for viewing! try to stay pretty. say hi to Elina, Asal and the rest. I don't bitch about 'em because they dont' bitch about me first and point blank, i find their personalities pleasant and sociable.

regards,
your GESS Drama Senior.

and i bid.. goodbye.

Resolutions and recap soon. clearing up so much shit in my room!

something to end off cherrybonanza.

2007's top 5s according to ITCZY

Songs
1) Rihanna - Don't Stop the Music
2) BoysLikeGirls - Hero/Heroine
3) Jennifer Lopez - Hold it don't drop it
4) Mutya Buena - Real Girl
5) Kat Deluna Feat. Elephant Man - Whine Up

Movies
1) Simpsons: The Movie
2) The Host (korean)
3) 200 Pounds Beauty (korean)
4) Stardust
5) X Men : The Final Stand

Places of Interest
1) Dempsey Road
2) Arab St
3) City Hall
4) Play / MOX
5) Vivocity

Moments
1) MAY winning the Ripcurl Beach Volleyball Tournament with kenneth, anna and ryan
2) JUNE / SEPTEMBER Enlisting and POP-ing into and out of Tekong
3) FEBRUARY Falling asleep on the beach @ Krabi, such bliss.
4) DECEMBER Doorbitching for MOX's 6inch to Flats party (as a gothic lesbian dyke)
5) NOVEMBER Halloween 2007 - my first dress up as a boyscout :P

wtf?!

apparently my sources tell me that some sad little 16 year old twit called LonelyB0i or something to that extent has been using my friendster profile on MIRC.

but apparently he wasn't that good at covering up his tracks.

so please folks, spread the love by informing those who asked whether i go to Mirc that no, i do not log onto MIRC.

and that little boy should really seek counselling or something, coz TAlkIng in AlTerNATe CAPZx ISh SeWWw KnoOTT KewLZX~*.

i am peeved. (but somehow.. flattered :P )

goodbye?

i have this incredible urge to delete this blog.

but for the memories. i'll keep it.

i guess that's me, refusing to let go, coz of all the memories i have.

Post-literary-gorge

so i've officially finished Johann S Lee's book "toknowhereimcomingfrom" within 5 days shows how much i enjoyed viewing his life from a 3rd party perspective. it really touched my heart at some chapters and i was so able to mirror myself in some caustic situations and predicaments he was in.

i've lost my will in cherrybonanza, all i can say is that i'm thankful 2007 is nearing over, which means, i get to move onto a new blog and site medium! just like 2006 made me "abandon" itczitczy.blogspot ..

somehow, i just can't stop thinking about the unhappiness that's within me. the feeling of disappointment or being played out just keeps on replaying in my mind.

i've just finished my gym regime and i'm happy t say that lines are showing. where it is i shan't say, i shall let my results prove it (in a few weeks i hope!)

an extract from a veryyyyyy goood book!

"

I suppose the only good thing about heartbreak is that it reinforces your
sense of humanity

'Heart' - because the pain is felt primarily in your chest, though perhaps
not quite left of centre. 'Break' - because the feeling is one of damage,
devastation even; one of something inside you fracturing or worse, shattering
into a million irretrievable pieces. It can also feel like something within you
collapsing, imploding, leaving traces of nothing behind. Heartbreak can make you
feel heavy, or it can make you feel strangely weightless, because there is a
sensation that you have been drained of absolutely everything. Then there
are the tears, shed singly or in streams quietly or in heaving sobs, and
the fear, no matter how irrational that the feeling may never go away

When i was an adolescent, i subscribed to every known romantic notion.
Filled with as much optimism as yearning, i never doubted for a moment that
eventually i would find true love. It was simply a question of when. I wasn't
necessarily expecting a straightforward fairytale. Like many Asian gay men, of
my generation at least, I had been conditioned from a young age to expect
melodrama in my life, to go so far as to invite it. there would be trials and
tribulations, but there would also be exultation and ecstasy, and eventually, i
would find Mr Right and have my happy ending

"
- extracted from " To Know Where I'm Coming" from by Johann S Lee


just got the book from Boss Ben, and can i say upon reading the first few paragraphs of the first chapter, i am indeed taken away by how lyrical is sounds as you mentally mouth it in your mind. the simplicity of the words sing deep into your soul as though a mirror has been reflected upon you.

silence please as i happily binge on this literary feast bestowed upon me :)

of Family Dinners & expanding waistlines

okie the pork ribs look sparse coz we were all gorging on its lip smacking succelent flavour, until an impulsive moment to snap all the food.

here we go (to the gym) again..

something in SICC.

proof that studying abroad makes you fat.

during bowling yesterday with the cousins and bro @ SICC.

Sean: gimme a strike so that i can prove that i am worth something
Me: yeah, a lot of pounds.

sunday morning.. after

sometimes people have that aura that people flock to when they have trouble and all that.

but when it comes to them having their own problems, it's hard to find someone who truly understands them..

or is it a vicious cycle?

i'm just sick of counselling people when i'm the one going through the same shit but having to hear what i'm going through in others.

bah. sunday cranks. it's been raining the whole day, i'm so gonna go down to Borders to get the Johann S Lee book, Ben lent me last nite, but i left it by the counter. tsk.

TGIF no alcohol!

okay, so it's another weekend full of cousin lovin' and sibling lovin'. back to the country club for more suntanning, bowling, swimming, gorging.

i can literally feel my face getting fatter.

and the fact that i was having a bad bout with headaches and dizziness did NOT help. gosh, it was so bad till i took a day off at the bar working. thank god B's understanding.

so i woke up feeling not thirsty or drowsy for once. can i safely say this is the first weekend morning waking up to a non-hangover feeling and a more refreshed attitude at 0930hrs in the morning? :D

i should get accustomed to this ...

...
... not.

Enrique Iglesias - Somebody's me.

REUNION @ THE AIRPORT!

Alaric's home baked sensations. BANANA CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE. it is seriously orgasmic, much better than sex.. well okay, almost! but it's cream cheese topping with chunks of chocolate grains and banana flavours that burst inside your mouth after every chomp. gosh, if he sells this..

Daddy's gifts for the boys! this t-shirt with different colours! i got lime green. w00ts! loves our daddy alot.

sampling Alaric's maiden attempt at BC Cupcakes, which was VERY well received :)


our family photo, before Mabel, Daryl, Alaric & Daddy flies off.. leaving me yin and kong! ): haha. nvm, i look at the itenary we have for December 2007 and i'm awaiting with GRRRRREAT excitement!

loves you all! i got a new t-shirt from Daddy

and a new cap. thanks you :)

it's countdown!

20 days to christmas.

i took some time out in the evening to walk around myself, and as always whenever i'm feeling pressured/ depressed/ overthinking or just basically not being the happy sunshine i am.

i went for a haircut.

something so liberal about either trimming your follicles, or swiping your debit card, getting new clothes. it's as if something is removed, something is renewed or something is introduced.

afterwhich, i started hunting down my x'mas presents for the various people i'm targeting for, and can i say, shopping for women is disgustingly hard. it's so nerve wrecking. yes girls, i'm looking at you all. all. of. you. what's last season? what's in? what's out? what's her fav colour? what's suitable? does this make her thighs look chunky-er?!

while guys? i leave it later on, we're much easier. coz we're rather pragmatic creatures. well most of us are :P

afterward, the menage e trois finally met up for our usual tuesday meal after a hiatus from complications. and boy did we make a riot in cafe cartel @ Raffles City. it seems like forever since we had verbal banter, laughed at asses off with jokes galore. thanks dudes, Golden Compass next ( hopefully ) !

and i'm having my off tomorrow! well, afternoon off that is. so it's straits kitchen lunch with The Matriach and the Brother, followed by meeting up with Alvin Kor for the Zoukout tickets, then Gymming, then meeting up with my CCWA Loves (daddy's back!) for a good meal and lotsa ketching up to do.

oh, fahmi's got his mini cooper so we'll be driving around town on saturday! :D time for some lethal shopping without the excess baggage. won-da-foo!

my cozy family and extended family weekend.

Saturday 1st dec 2007

Singapore Island Country Club

Cousin Nicole

1300-1730

she spells sexy cute.
awesome view, i've not seen this in many years, thanks to my hectic social schedule. (HAHA)

the view behind me, overlooks Bt Timah Tree top walk or something.

TOWN while waiting for mah signal mates.

nice enough of her to acc me.

SIGNAL BUDDIES
TAKA > HEEREN
1930-2200hrs

xian hong our resident platoon rabbit!

my signals buddaye chris kwok and fugchew chen wee!

THE CLUB!
WORLD AIDS DAY!
SCHOOL UNIFORM THEME!
0030hrs - LATE

world aids day at the club! my secondary school senior Nigel! nyeh, neh wear our sch uni.

my close pal Dommie in his designer school uni *cough cough*

SUNDAY 2nd DEC 2007
Singapore Recreational Club - Bowling Alley
Cousins Reunion!
1730-2130hrs

my crazy bitch of a cousin is back!

my brother too! hugss!!

haha. many ppl don't know this, but i was training to be a professional bowler at one point in my life. i tihnk it was during my p5-sec 2 days, i was training nearly everyday at SICC (my own club) that i was literally equipped like a pro. i went for STBC ten pin leagues and as well as my club's own junior leagues that i even made a proposal to my sec sch to start a bowling club as well . so here's a picture of me and my Ebonite 12.75kg bowling ball. yeah, it's lighter coz i'm a Right-Handed Spinner.

me and shellgirl cousin Michelle.
guess who topped the scoreboards. :) *big smirk*

saturday mornings without a pokemon means ..

i'm seemingly wordless and thoughtless at the moment.

my life's rightfully deemed a facade.

people with many faces and spaces, doing that whole PR thing. it's tiring isn't it?

\\

my paddle's pretty much laying dormant at one corner of my room. gym can only do THAT much to appease my addiktion/cravings for high adrenaline team sports. i miss my good ol tan (albeit with the chui tanlines). i miss random ramblings on the boat with the rest of the team mates. or the bright glare of the sun and the butt abrasions. remember the triangle route? gosh, or rowing all the way to the merlion and getting bukkake-d by it's watery regurgitation? acting like Sports Illustrated models by flicking our hair to each other to get off the water? good times.

\\

met up with godpa (finally!) and his friends yesterday, had very elegant white wine at his house before heading down to the bar and club. sorry to say that at the club and bar, i was officially bored. aside from people shoving drinks down my throat, i can say that the only redeeming factor is that godpa is happy. and to me, that means alot. be it sacrificing time of sleep (after a whole niter cramming in the camp office mind you), or sacrificing friends or money.

\\

my brother's coming back from Australia tonight, imagine, 4 people sharing one toilet that's almost the size of a kid's closet. wonderful.

\\

i wish the sun would perpetually be shining brightly, this gloomy weather that has the potential to turn into a possum pounder on this saturday afternoon would badly affect the itenary planned with my cousin Nicole to swim and tan @ the country club. "the glamorous, the glamorous.. oooo the flowers the flowers"

i don't mind the extravagant lifestyle, but my heart keeps things simple. i tried living a complicated life, doesn't work for me. to love be love, cherishing your loved ones. yada yada, you know the simple-lifestyle tagline. act on it!

\\

world AIDs day! be safe guys. have fun within safe boundaries gives you more time to have fun, twofold, threefold, tenfold perhaps?

\\

other incoherent thoughts should best be left floating around, awaiting to be dissipated. goodbye blog for now, let me enjoy the weekend.

selah again!

in the comforts of my office, waiting for a high rank to come and vet the corporate video i'm doing for him, i have hence denegerated into a lifeless sloth in front of the I-Net.

as well as gorging myself so much these past 2 days that even the legendary foodie Bryan W would blush.

i apologise to myself for the past few weeks, i've let myself and my sanity be overtaken by thoughts that materalised out of even smaller thoughts. its' a chain reaction really. i'm finally back on track with a much more stable mentality.

whatever's meant to be shall past. whatever isnt' shall go.

midnight jogging. needed.

i so need to run.

my thoughts are getting clogged again, and i'm not thinking straight.

if given the ability to reverse time, i'd just be friends. it's getting to become a guessing game and hangman all at the same time.

something revelational at SGH

my department had the half day off to go see our dept i/c James @ SGH after his sinus operation.

when we entered, we saw his girlfriend, taking time off her teaching job just to accompany him, heard she was there for over 12 hours already.

after the operation, there would be bleeding coming out from the eye, the mouth and the nose. so you could imagine the mess it was.

however, the thing that touched me most was, the girl was so mentally strong, she just helped james wipe off the blood from his cotton-patched nose without any flinching, or any look of disgust, she helped swipe the blood-stained eye of his with a smile, and took the spitoon bowl when he needed to spit out the phelgm/blood and other salivary substances (that happened very often)

i looked at them and smiled in admiration. james is a lucky ass, for a girlfriend who cared so much to take time off her career. and to be able to joke freely, like she's his best friend.

no wonder The Matriach found it hard when my dad passed away, indeed marriage, or heck, relationships are when you find your bestfriend and you compliment each other and take time for each other.

i think that was real sweet and life taught me a damn good lesson about relationships today.

something for a 3some.

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1) have a long lasting healthy relationship
2) get my own property
3) afford my own funeral

Three Names You Go By:
1) Isaac
2) Zhi / Zhiyang
3) "oei bitch!"

Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1) 志
2) itczy
3) Isaac

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1) Skin - quite smooth on the face, some girls would kill for this. :)
2) big hands - oh yes. *wink wink*
3) ears - proportionate, goldilock-ish. not too big nor small.

Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1) Chinese
2) Thai
3) -

Three Things That Scare You:
1) Rejection
2) Death
3) Rejection

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1) wallet
2) Hp
3) my facebook account. (ha)

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1) instantkarma tank top "DOOR BITCH"
2) my beloved but soon-to-be-chui GANT pants
3) sexy BUM undies (oo lala)

Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1) Natasha Beddingfield
2) Rihanna
3) Goo Goo Dolls

Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1) Natasha Beddingfield - Soulmate
2) Rihanna - Don't stop the music
3) Carrie Underwood - Some Hearts

Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1) a best friend
2) loyalty (don't you dare go fuckin' around)
3) communication / transparency

Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1) built - i ain't want no michelin man or 2d-figure.
2) Looks - whoever said looks does not matter is lying (i agree with my twin deeps)
3) jawlines. something about 'em.

Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1) dancing
2) dragonboating
3) volleyball

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1) not think about someone
2) kiss someone
3) forget someone.

Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1) Church Worker (quick laugh it out!)
2) Teacher
3) Piano Performer

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1) Australia
2) Taiwan
3) Krabi

Three Kid's Names You Like:
1) Jade
2) Brandon
3) Keagan

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:
1) I whine
2) I have bitch fits and mood swings
3) I love shopping. period.

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1) I am lazy. lazy lazy lazy.
2) I do not know when is my limit in pursuing the one i love.
3) I pick my nose.

Three People You Tag:
1) Twin Gorgeous
2) Dominic
3) Mabel