emo at 0121.

my heart paltipates in the stillness of the night. the balmy feeling of nocturnal liberation and the hypnotic twirl of the ceiling fan.

i'm sitting here in front of the luminous screen and i feel empty.

looking back (it's almost like a monthly trait) into my life, i'd say i've done alot, but i've not done enough to feed my soul's greed for ambitious accomplishments.

what's next?

Paris Hilton has nothing on me.

can someone spell socialite?

yesterday was with the Herman-nator (haha) and CB [Company best = Sirius] in the afternoon at vivo, followed by family dinner @ home, followed by Dempsey Road's Ben & Jerry's with Bryan.

today went to do some checkups and Xrays (don't ask), followed by IKEA with mummy (for more mirrors, haha), then watched Chuck & Larry with Alex and then EQUINOX (OMG) with a very old friend (who's so generous he shall not be named)

and then, tomorrow, Lunch @ Paragon with Chrystal the cousin, then the CCWA family boaters are coming over at night for some chillout/pigout sessions.

i think i'm happy. (: pictures up tomorrow.

a conversation.

tim: you there?
G: always.
tim: how have you been?
G: busy, but always here for you.
tim: okay, someone just reminded me of the good things you've done.
G: so i've heard.
tim: okay you hear everything, i keep on forgetting.
G: it's okay.
tim: mmmm, i feel sad.
G: come to me. didnt you always?
tim: yeah, but i kinda digressed for 9 months haven't i.
G: you've been busy.
tim: well, in my defense, so have you.
G: but i always make time for my loved ones.
tim: that's a lot of people
G: always a spot for you
tim: u do know my plans for the weekend right?
G: right when you thought about it, i knew already.
tim: intuition?
G: nah, a quality of mine : sovereign
tim: so i guess you know my urge?
G: to come this saturday? of course.
tim: that's great. u do know that i have no intentions of making this long term for now?
G: i know that.
tim: but can i just come to your house?
G: sure. i'm always open.

breaking free

have i learnt from these past few months? aplenty.

boundaries have been conquered. i breathe a sigh of great relief and grief, both at the same time. the heart bleeds for both victory and defeat, its really a myriad of emotions that scales through this mountain of uncertainty.

many people describe a situation like this as a closed chapter in life.

i don't.

i believe. this is like. a stack of cards thrown high up into the blue azure sky. the wind takes its course as it gently whispers words of wisdom and prediction as it caresses the cards through the air.

Why a stack of cards? life's a gamble, wherever each card lands on which continent of the world, it's based on a fraction of probability and the big enigma that is life itself.

would the king of hearts ever land on the same plateau as the queen of hearts again?

that's an enigma itself. and i'd leave it that way for now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DERRICK KONG!

here's wishing a good friend and brother DERRICK KONG JUN XIAN a happy 22nd Birthday! it's been great having you around as a friend. You've brought laughter to the whole group with your unexpected antics and youthful presence (coughcough). we know deep inside you want nothing but the best for the group so stay that way! Let's mambo soon okay, we all know everyone hates us but secretly loves us coz they cannot mambo their way through life. LOVE YOU DEEPS DEEPS! :)

met up with the 2 jies before the dinner party. met at Novena and scouted all around there, proceeded to Suntec City, Marina Square, Raffles City, Heeren, Taka, Paragon, CK Tang, Isetan, Pacific Plaza and STILL could not find what we were looking for.

but of course, we dropped by our favourite eatery .. cough and did some stuff for Derrick. (see how much we loves you!)

after Cream Bistro (yes i fast forwarded the dinner part coz i don't have many pictures yet! oh alariccccc & jeremyyyyyy), met up with my favourite sluttaye Debbie. haha. and look at the array of orgasmic looks she can make.

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okay lar, i' m a nice friend, i shall post up just one unglam pic of her.

she then went back to my house to watch some TV and slack whilst waiting for the bf. see i'm so nice, Hotel Isaac is always up in orchard. tsk.

Yingying's monday.

a sneak preview of my newly revamped room, notice the lime green walls, the blue bed and my newly fixed IKEA mirrors which i DIY-ed :D (with the help of the maid of course). yet to be completed, the TV table, the built in wardrobe, newly hashed curtains.

meeting up with ms Eliza Gan Yingying of CHC fame. haha. yes, we pigged out literally @ Carls Jr followed by B&J with a ginormous hand packed serving of CCCD and CG. gosh, so much for all the hard work at BMT.

and i did remember ages ago when i first enlisted? i promised to show you guys what my lovely CCWA family did for me during my first 2 weeks? the letter-a-day? well, here it is guys! so many personalised postcards (like Derrick's ISAAC ISABELLA IVY CHAN MUST DIE from the JohnTuckerMustDie parody postcard -.-) and handwritten letters and printed photos! so precious that they're worth more than gold man. loves you all and am already all hyped up for the upcoming events! :)

okay. 7days to block leave, but i've already gotten myself so busy with appointments i needa find time for myself.

and enough of channel 5 news reports on my blog, time for some serious waxing .

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soon. ah procrastination!

from popthemusicdrug

back to primary school! please finish the sentences in the most coherent manner possible (25 marks)

i am not : feeling 100% good

i am: recovering from food poisoning since the Chalet (photos up soon)

i hurt: easily!

i love: unconditionally

i hate : being sick

i fear: my plan A not coming to past.

i hope: to be happy with no strings attached one day.

i play : with players.

i cry : at any happy endings of any movie (no matter how romantic it is)

i care: too much about the welfares of others that i overstep it sometimes.

i wish: i studied harder in poly, heck, i wish i studied harder for Os.

i always : say that i'll never repeat the same mistake twice.

i listen: to catchy beats and club-friendly remixes.

i sing: good enough.

i dance: like sex with clothes on.

i search: for an answer to life

i learn: things slowly

i feel: that we all should give a damn about others instead of ourselves all the time

i know: others better than i know myself

i succeed: rarely coz i don't put in the effort required.

i fail: at relationships.

i dream: whenever, wherever

i sleep: coz i need to, not because i want to. life's too short for siestas.

i wonder: where'll i be posted to?

i need: money, time and a guardian to push me from procrastinating =X

i want: to spend more time with my loved ones (u know who ya all are!)

i worry: that i'll never have the V shaped body i desire

i have: a charming wit (that is more obvious and vehemently manifests when i'm "sexually frustrated" quote unquote TSBF)
i fight: for justice

i wait: for things beyond my control and also, when i procrastinate. heh

i think: too much that it's unhealthy

i can't help the fact that: i'm empathic, too empathic that it can make you hurl

i stay: right in town. so call me out will you?