Kountdown to Krabi.

just as i'm typing this entry out, i realise that the stuff that's clattering my desk is nearly all red, talk about prosperity.

red water bottle, red bank advert card, red tissue box, red watch, red pencil, red watch, red EZ link card. sheesh.

*

just how much can love be gauged upon? is there ever a mental capacity on how much can one measure? perhaps we can never know just how much we will ever love a person.

"honey, i love you in a capacity of 350ml"
"that's so sweet! can we get married?"
"yes!"
"awww, now i love you 50cm more!"

I believe in loving people unconditionally. Maybe at some point, I would have been buying something for someone and EXPECTING something back, but after a few experiences, there has been a paradigm shift in my thinking.

If Love was to be measured and obligatory, it would have been a simple case of exchanging. Afterawhile, people need to know that to Love is to Sacrifice.

I love CJSOPA, i sacrifice my time and effort to make sure what they do is what we (not them only) want to achieve at the end of the day.

I love CCWA, i sacrifice my sunday mornings and my sweat to ensure victory is within sight for the team.

I love Gorgeous Mandy, i sacrifice my time and money on her, coz i know she's someone of value to me, someone who has gone through me thick and thin.

but when i give things, i never NEVER expect anything back. I don't wish to make it obligatory.

However, the same can't be said for me, if someone loves me and gives me something extravagant and costly, I would feel a sense of guilt or obligation on me. Why why why?

Funny how i practice what i don't preach.
A cryptic and subtle message i'm sending today, but perhaps, it's an outlet of grief, depression, sorrow and of utmost confusion.

*

on to reality and less of mental masturbation, the weather's been fucking up of recent and hesitations to arrive at Krabi with wet sand in between my toes and a still singlet tan-line existent body isn't exactly the welcome wagon i was hoping for.

Also, this time, i have made a shopping list to do. ta-daaaa, always trust the shoppaholic to have a shopping list of to-buy-for (a play on the term to-die-for) even at a remote beach resort in Tom-YamVille.

So it'll be 3 full days of beaching and boating around the Phi Phi Islands and the like. 3 full days of tanktops, berms, shorts, trunks and havini-nanas. It'll be a short retreat away from the hustle and bustle of technology, and the highest form of technology that i'll be able to access is HBO.

unless they have some internet 24hour kiosk there, which i'm (probably) so not touching.

besides, a 3day retreat would be sufficient enough for me to lie at the head of the boat and do some soul searching, just like my previous post, I am probably confused and some sun wouldn't hurt some mental therapy.

Though i'll be missing dance lessons on friday, DB training on saturday. mmmm. the good with the bad, happy with the sad.

so, krabi in. 3 hours time?