Sunday Morning After.

The morning started all bright and sunny without a hint of a downpour. well, CCWA Dragonboat training was almost that until the brief little exhibition trip to the Merlion's Spout drenched us a little, which was probably a prelude to the excruciatingly strong downpour that followed after right when we were parking the boat.

Aside from the usual back-and-forths around the river, we did some recreational (or at least to me) activities such as the see-saw. It's where both sides of the boat would sit on the gunrail and rock each other and the objective is to make your partner's ass get wet by the ocean. fun and of course some of us were screaming our lungs out as we were really in trepidation on the thought of making our partners do the slow-mo Baywatch and save us, though that thought would never materialise due to the trusty blue lifejackets strung tightly on us.

Just got back from St James Power Station, went to catch up with Dj George Leong after a month's hiatus from the usual sunday night hangout. He looks great as usual and always spins the staple diet of top 40s and house. awesome!

As i was sitting alone whilst William Kor and his friends were dancing, I began to ponder whilst drinking my mocktail Shirley Temple. How much my impression of clubbing has changed.

I used to think it was mandatory to club as a social activity, yet, sometimes, I feel so satisfied with my current situation that i don't need to get high in a club to have a fun time. I think a good programme at home, mahjong with 3 close buddies, beaching, sports would be just as much fun.

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When i was younger, i used to want to be the perfectionist. The one who puts out fires everywhere i go, the problem solver, the constantly avilable counsellor. The one whom friends approach to for help, almost like a lifesaver.

Tonight, I realised i was far from perfect, and far from being a person who has the ability to handle his own problems, rather others. The paradigm shift of my mindset has changed drastically as i've aged and many things have happened, such as hearts being broken, my own broken heart, heretic friendships, spirituality etc..

I feel that i myself should learn to share less with people, I always feel burdened for them especially if its affects them even from the smaller-outer microscope. I feel i can be more hospitable to people around me, to make them feel comfortable. I don't want to ruin a good clubbing night by being wasted, or by being a party pooper. I want everyone around me to have a good time.

Call me a over-pleaser if you wish, but i was brought up on a set of values to always be generous to others around you and never ever be a burden to anyone. Though it has not manifested in such a transparent way through 19+years, i think it's time some things should change.

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Where do broken hearts go?

*

I feel that i am heavily misunderstood, since when did a simple SMS made me feel like i'm pissed. Just because someone else i previously talked to was upset, and we know that person mutually, does not justify me being angry. It doesn't necessarily take two hands to clap.

maybe i'm thinking too much again.

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I am really very much an amateur philosopher, i think too much and i don't earn money thinking that much. A fortune cookie once told me : "you'd feel much better when you realise that the people around you don't think about you all the time"

Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye is the only way out for you and me

stupid cheesy mixed UK band. sheesh. but i guess it speaks truth at times.

I'm heavily fatigued after a whole days worth of Dragonboating, Auditions, Bai-nianing and clubbing(?). Goodnight and Goodluck world.